In some ways, I think we all search for that one big secret to living a happy, healthy life. I know I have! It can seem out of reach, but it’s not!
One quote (from Rachel Hollis) that resonated with me: “Recognizing the lies we’ve come to accept about ourselves is the key to growing into a better version of ourselves. If we can identify the core of our struggles while simultaneously understanding that we are truly in control of conquering them, then we can utterly change our trajectory.”
The lies we’ve accepted about ourselves. . . hmmm. Do you ever find yourself accepting limitations about yourself simply because that’s what you’ve always believed? I’m too fat. Too lazy. I’m ugly. I’ll never get thin. I’m just not cut out to be calm/thin/in good shape. Stress and anxiety run in my family. I’ll never succeed/get thin/be happy. I always mess up. I just CAN’T. I’m just not worth it. (Some sense of unworthiness lies at the core of almost all limiting beliefs.)
Do any of these sound familiar? I can’t______! I’ll always be ________! I’ll never amount to anything. I just don’t have what it takes to ________.
The WHY behind the lies we accept as truth
Up until the age of six or seven, we all are like little sponges, absorbing details and “facts” about life, ourselves, and the world without the ability to analyze them critically. We may yell at our child (or our mom might have yelled at us) and say something unkind simply because we are having a bad day. But little hearts and minds take this type of criticism and often absorb and file it in a way it was not intended, and then it always lurks in our subconscious mind, driving the way that we view ourselves and our worth, and negatively affecting the way we relate to others and navigate through life. Personally, I remember a doctor telling my mom I was fat when I was maybe 6 or 7. Stuff like that just sticks in your head and can affect even your adult life unless you decide to evict the false beliefs..
What we can do to become happier today:
1. Watch the words that come out of our mouths. The Bible says that “Life and death are in the power of the tongue” and that we can both bless and curse with our words. For real. Things that we say and put out there in the universe have a way of coming to find us, especially when we say something negative about ourselves. Words carry great power. Use them wisely.
2. Start an appreciation journal. Each day write down three or five positive attributes that we or our kids possess or three things you are thankful for. Or thing that you’ve accomplished. Even something as small as making your bed, or even getting out bed, count. It makes a difference, and this is an important step in countering any negative beliefs that our minds default to.
3. Trust that every day is a do-over, and be so, so grateful for that. the Bible tells us that God’s mercies are new every morning. Be merciful to YOURSELF each day. Every day that we are here on earth and living and breathing, we have a fresh start. We can choose to see ourselves and our lives differently!
To read up more on these principles and how I put them in practice, visit this post.
When I work with you, we focus a lot on core beliefs that are keeping them stuck. And I teach you easy-to-learn techniques that allow you to process the thoughts and emotions that lie behind emotional or stress eating. Find out more here. You can live a happy healthy life, and start changing the way you think about yourself today!
*An older version of this article was previously published at Bethmeltzer.com.