One of my favorite quotes: “When your haters talk more about you than bettering their lives, that means you need to keep going!” I thought of this after hearing from sources that someone that was close to me started talking bad about me.
Has this ever happened to you? The sting of sharing intimate details with someone you thought you could trust than to get those however big or irrelevant thoughts to come up is just hurtful.
There is a way to turn it around, which is the reason why I love this quote so much! You need to continue. Continue to focus on your own goals, real meaningful relationships, authentic people (who don’t share private/details about you to others), focus on your family, and what is important.
What this quote always brings up, is how easily we can get distracted. Which is one of the main reasons people talk about you! To get you off your game and focusing on what they want you to focus on.
The antidote is simply but slightly painful to do-specially immediately after (fair warning.
Shake it off, and that person! What does this mean? Well, first of all, shake the thought of sharing and how you do it, and with whom. You don’t need to and shouldn’t be sharing your problems with individuals who are worse off and can’t even give advice on how to resolve things that keep you up at night. Think about it. How can you ask a ‘girlfriend’ who can’t get her relationships where she wants them, to give you advice on what to do about a current relationship(s)? However, if you want to vent you need to realign that and vent with a trusted person like a life coach, therapist, psychologist who is bound to privacy and your protection!
Then, after you shake off the hurt, sting, and realization that your stuff is floating in people’s mouths. You know what you do, you reset expectations of yourself and in your relationships. One of the biggest mistakes I made for years, was not using my brain and eyes to tell me what was going on. I went with what I felt at that moment, what that person was saying, and failed to look at someone’s actions. Reset your expectation(s) of thinking you know people right off the bat. Give yourself time to examine, reevaluate, think, feel, process what you see in this person and what that person is really saying. The idea that you reset your expectations doesn’t mean you can’t trust; however, it means you give people especially women in your tribe the grace to be who they are and still honor yourself and protect your assets! Aka mental health and heart.
Get in tune with where you are planted, going, and have been. What does this mean? It means getting over the hard part when you’ve done all the shaking and realigning of expectations to end up dealing with the floating words in people’s mouths. Funny to say and hurtful to feel and experience. However, when this is the critical aspect of what makes someone hold leadership in tough situations. Get in tune with where you are planted, going, and have been doesn’t mean ignoring what is happening, pushing your emotions down, or belittling yourself into repentance. It means that you need to assess where you are in your family life, career horizon, a timeline of goals, where you’re at with your finances, how is your mental health, what are you doing to take care of yourself. Are you going to church, seeking spiritual wisdom? Are you healing? Are you becoming the version of you that the 80–90-year-old you would be proud of? Are you taking this opportunity to keep going despite the haters trying to ruin your life?
It is an essential part of life to remember great quotes and this one is one of my favorites because it got me through a really hurtful time where my decisions were to emotional melt in bitterness, depression, anger, and a whooping mountain of resentment or use this pain as my push to continue because I am actually doing something that matters (news flash, if not people wouldn’t be talking about you!). “When your haters talk more about you than bettering their lives, that means you need to keep going!”