Overcoming the pain of rejection

Every one of us at some point in our lives has experienced rejection in one form or another. It may have been a sweetheart or a lover, rejection from a parent, being passed over for a promotion, or being told ‘no thank you’ after pitching a proposal or even asking someone out on a date. And no matter how many times you go through it, it never feels good. But some rejections are more difficult to take than others, and it really depends on our level of emotional involvement. When we are highly invested, the rejection can sting badly; a lower emotional investment may mean it’s little more than an annoyance. Here are 5 tips to help you overcome rejection fast.

1. Get real. 

Ask yourself, and be honest, was this really going to change your life? Most of the rejections we experience on a daily basis are not that earth shattering. If this is one of those rare cases where it has far reaching implications, then it’s a fairly important issue and you need to have a back-up plan or other option in place.

2. What’s next? 

Sometimes the best thing to do after a fall is to get back on the horse. (or motorcycle or bicycle) Keep moving forward. What’s the next step? If this is business or career related, who can you contact next? Try not to dwell on what hasn’t been successful, and instead, put your attention on what or who might actually work.

3. You haven’t lost anything. 

Whatever or whoever it was that rejected you, was never going to be a good fit anyway – no matter what kind of fantasy you’ve made up in your head about it. If you ask someone out on a date, and they say no, you weren’t going out with them 5 minutes ago, you still aren’t now – nothing has changed! Sometimes this one thing can be helpful just to bring you back to the present and to the reality of the situation. It frees you up to let go and move on.

4. If you need time take it. 

Some rejections are bigger and more painful than others, and they do take time to heal. Make sure you give yourself the time to grieve and to heal when needed, but don’t go it alone. If it’s that big of an issue get some professional outside help with the process.

5. Get into action. 

Okay, you’ve thought about it, processed it, screamed and cried about it, and maybe even uttered a few not so nice words. You know what’s next, now get to it. Sitting and pondering rejection too long creates a fertile ground for negative thoughts to seep in. Getting into action shifts things, and who knows, may actually produce different results.