I’ve recently made a big transition in my personal life, taking a committed relationship to “the next level,” and packing up a life to move across the country. As I ploughed through packing boxes, selling or donating redundant “stuff,” changing contact information everywhere I could think of, finishing up a consulting project, while making time to see everyone I wanted to see before leaving (and I didn’t get to everyone), it would have been very easy to become totally overwhelmed. And a couple of times I came very close. But over the years I’ve learned to practice “self-care,” and it was reaching for those tools that kept me productive, calm and even positive.
My generation was not typically taught about “self-care.” Like many of us, I was raised in a household where hard work, productivity and excellences were expected, while rest (unless you were sick), slowing down and a little pampering were deemed lazy or indulgent. It took years for me to fully appreciate that without taking care of myself in ways that feed me, I cannot show up my best self for anyone or anything else.
I could write pages and pages of what self-care means to me, and I’m sure I’ll touch on it again and again as time unfolds. For now, I’ll say simply that it’s not about going to the spa for a week, eating bonbons in front of the TV or shirking responsibilities (although any of those things could be what we need from time to time). Self-care is about recharging your own batteries, filling your own cup. The “how” can be as simple as a daily 10-minutes of silence, getting out into nature, a warm bubble bath at the end of the day, making time to call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, curling up with a great novel, and so on. It’s about tapping into ourselves, regularly, and asking “what do I need right now? What would feel nourishing?” then making the time to give that to ourselves.
When we make the time to take care of ourselves, even if for just a short time each day, we set ourselves up for more success in all the different roles we play. And in a more balanced state, we set a wonderful example for those around us. Practicing self-care is not only healing for us, but also gives others permission to do likewise.
What small thing can you do to honour and care for yourself today? I hope you’ll make the time to do it.