So the Holiday’s are upon us. That means parties, gatherings, and get togethers. For me it is also synonymous with baby questions. If I hear one more question about when you are going to get pregnant I just might snap!

I am a 30 year old married woman who has actually been trying to conceive since April of last year. Once I got off of birth control, I didn’t realize that it would take three months for me to actually have a period so beyond the slight delay I figured this will be an easy process. And boy was I  wrong.

We are taught as women that we are to reproduce and that validates us as women. In actually it’s our bodies and having children is our choice. If you desire a child the journey is different for everyone however society pushes the fact it is an easy process.  I mean we have to deal with things such as PCOS,  Endometriosis, scarring of tubes, fibroids, ectopic pregnancy,  and other challenges that no one really likes to talk about. It’s unfortunate that some may feel less that what they are because of this taboo of pregnancy. We as women should feel  comfortable to talk about the struggles.

Today After over a year of trying to conceive, I am four days late on my period which is typically on schedule. I am terrified to take the test and promised myself tomorrow is the day. I’m not going to lie this journey has been tough. I have cried and picked myself back up again, with hope and faith knowing having a child is a gift that I will receive one day. My husband has been an awesome support system and I am so grateful for him. 

Whether this is a Christmas miracle or a small sign to keep going and hold faith, I will be grateful either way. Peace must come from within and I have that. My womanhood doesn’t come from my ability to conceive. I am woman through the experiences, strength, love, patience and endurance that have shaped me to be who I am today.