Don’t Let “Fixing” Others Keep You from Helping Yourself

Self care is a hot topic lately for good reason—you need to take care of yourself and live your purpose! By taking the time to put yourself as the focus in your life, you are able to center yourself, find clarity, and set your sites on goals that are important to you and your personal fulfillment.

But there are those who are so fixated on “fixing” others, they completely abandon themselves to take time for everyone else. These same people often identify as compassionate, generous, and empaths.

When we focus on others it is easier to “fix” peoples problems by removing ourselves from our own. By abandoning yourself and living someone else’s life you remove any responsibility to live your own and give up your own personal destiny and fulfillment.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Stop self sabotage

No, I don’t believe you should only focus on yourself and stop helping others. There is a difference between pausing your life to help someone versus abandoning your life to “fix” another’s. Caring for others, being concerned about your loved ones, and living generously are all wonderful things. However, you shouldn’t go through life unfulfilled, never truly trying to reach your full potential because you’re too busy taking care of everyone but you.

Usually the first step in finding yourself, affirming who you are and your own importance are life altering on a personal level. You need to truly believe that you are just as worthy as other people of love, happiness, success, and fulfillment. Even if helping others is what makes you feel fulfilled, there always is something that you can do that is fulfilling to yourself. Example… Charity would satisfy helping others by living a fulfillment within yourself. This is not a form of self abandonment or “fixing” others. It is helping a cause by being your kind, giving self.

Make your dreams reality by altering perspective and not abandoning self along the way. Life is about choices. Choices are the only thing we control.

It’s not being selfish

You don’t have ignore the people you care about or let them down to engage in your own destiny. You just need to put an end to those self sabotaging behaviors—that you may not even be aware of—and take strides to take care of yourself too. Find balance.

Some may say you’re selfish for living your own life. Know there is nothing wrong with living authentically, experiencing your existence to the fullest, and doing what you’re meant to do! You can’t “fix” other unless they ask you to fix them. Life is about either living or existing.

Unfortunately, the people who may try to dissuade you from changing your beliefs, stopping your abandonment and taking ownership over your life may be the same people you’re caring for. Some people prefer you carry their weight they cannot alleviate.

Whether they know it or not, those who are dependent on you may be trying to hold you back so they can continue to have you and your love and your ability to deal with their issues all to themselves. If it’s come to this, you will most likely need lots of love, support, and assistance to carve out the time you need to do great things for yourself.

You aren’t alone

So many have found themselves in similar situations. This includes high frequency, high capacity individuals. I’ve worked with executives, athletes, and artists who were so caught up in satisfying others they engaged in self sabotaging behaviors and truly abandon their own fulfillment. Life always looks perfect on the outside to others but eternal fulfillment is truly what we all seek.

If you do identify with self sabotaging behaviors or the “fixing” behavior, change your beliefs about who you are, and embrace your worthiness.

Life is short and you are alive for a purpose. Your purpose is your path. Your destiny is your choice. Focus on your true desires and make strides to achieve them. Look at you in a mirror and focus on you. By focusing on you… You can help others.