3 Tips for a More Peaceful and Connected Relationship

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Sharing life with a partner can be one of the most rewarding things we experience. And, naturally, all relationships have ups and downs. The practice of mindfulness offers some wonderful tools to help us make the most of the good times while getting through the challenging times with more grace and ease.

Wherever you are in your relationship evolution, these tips can help you achieve more love, peace, and joy — individually and together!

3 Tips for a More Peaceful and Connected Relationship

  1. Practice gratitude: What are you most grateful for about your partner? Take some time to turn your mindful attention to this question and explore it. Here are some prompts to get you started: What about your partner inspires you most?
    • What was one of the first things you noticed about them that drew you to the partnership?
    • What about them makes you smile most?
    • What do you admire most about your partner?
    • What characteristic of their personality or way of being is most endearing to you?
    • Recall one of your most meaningful times together. What did your partner do or say that was so impactful, and what does that reveal about the core of who they are?
  2. Share your gratitude: Whether for an anniversary, birthday, or holiday, or just for love’s sake, set aside some time to share all you are grateful for about your partner with him or her. You can write a letter, read them your list, or use any form of expression that feels most sincere and loving to you. Let your partner know that you see what’s amazing about them.
  3. Share your joys: Sit down with your partner, grab a writing utensil and piece of paper (or journal) each, and write out a joy list. Take 10 minutes or so to give you both time write down all the things that bring you joy. Include everything, big or small — from a warm cup of coffee in the morning to a beach vacation. Then, share your joy lists with each other. Are there any items on your lists that you could enjoy together? Some may take some planning (like the beach vacation), but others (like the morning cup of coffee) might be something you could easily share with each other. Make a third joy list that consists of all the things from your two individual lists that you could choose to do together. You might even come up with some new activities and experiences as you share with your partner!

When we bring mindfulness to our relationships, we give ourselves and our partner a unique gift — one that infuses our interactions with peace and appreciation. Practicing mindfulness doesn’t mean all the difficult or chaotic moments will disappear; it just means you’ll have tools on hand to respond rather than react to them.


  • Julie Potiker

    Author + Mindfulness Expert

    Mindfulness expert and author Julie Potiker is an attorney who began her serious study and investigation of mindfulness after graduating from the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program at the University of California, San Diego. She went on to become trained to teach Mindful Self-Compassion, and completed the Positive Neuroplasticity Training Professional Course with Rick Hanson. Now, she shares these and other mindfulness techniques with the world through her Mindful Methods for Life trainings and her new book: “Life Falls Apart, but You Don’t Have To: Mindful Methods for Staying Calm In the Midst of Chaos.” For more information, visit www.MindfulMethodsForLife.com.