Change is so easy yet so hard. It’s always easier to look at your friend and see what they need to do to change. However when it comes to ourselves, it is all that more complicated and difficult when it’s our own attitudes and beliefs and mindsets we need to shift!

Many people will continue with behaviors that don’t seem to serve them as they have underlying beliefs that keep perpetuating these patterns. However when the pain is greater than the reason why you are carrying on, then they will decide to change. Humans seem to need suffering to springboard off.

Everything you think, do and create is you; you are creating it and it’s your responsibility to change it. 

To make a couple of things clear from the outset; there are difficulties and there is suffering.

Difficulties come from your life; they come out of choices, decisions you make, or situations that are happening in your life, maybe a divorce, court cases, job losses, mortgages, etc. Whereas suffering, comes from our minds, how we think and how we respond to situations. For example, one person may enjoy money and having a mortgage; another may feel a chain around their neck. One might feel suffering and loss after a break up for some time; another person may let it go and move on easily.

Suffering is in the mind. It’s how you react to, and think about what’s happening in your life. And this is all within your power to change. Start seeing suffering for what it is; your mind telling you stories.

Sometimes we are in a storm in a tea cup and we need to get out of the cup and onto the table and see everything as a whole picture,  which will help to put things in perspective.

An important step is to start by recognising your thoughts, and then you can start changing them. Because you can’t change what you can’t see. That’s why awareness is always the first step.

So start to notice your thinking, kindly pull yourself up, and change it each time something negative comes up. 

If your mind has gotten out of control, here’s some things you can do to take back control:

  • Find ways to re-frame your thoughts for yourself and see things from a new perspective.
  • Tell your mind stop. Destroy the images in your mind. Let your thoughts fly away.
  • Distract your mind. Use meditation and mindfulness tools consistently to distract yourself.
  • Try snap your wrist with something every time you catch yourself thinking negative. Do this for 21 days (Break the habit) then reinforce new positive thoughts for 21 days (Create a new habit). 
  • DECIDE you want to shift your thinking. Create new primary beliefs for yourself.
  • Practice in the mirror saying I love and accept me. I love me. I love me. I love me. Because if we can’t love ourselves first then we can’t truly offer love and acceptance and empathy to others.
  • Act like there is only you in this reality. If you want something it starts with you.
  • The world is a reflection of you. It’s time to take responsibility for yourself.
  • Be your own best friend. Back yourself. Practice partnering with yourself.
  • Be lighter and more accepting with yourself and be like “oh there I go again!”
  • Let all thoughts wash over you. Your brain thinks a million thoughts a day. Let them come and go.
  • Be the stillness within the centre of yourself. The cam in the storm.
  • Talk to yourself like you would your friend. If it’s not OK for your friend then it’s not OK for you!
  • Feel into what else is buried in you and work on bringing that out and releasing it.
  • Feel into what are you most afraid of, then address that. Lean into it in your feelings.
  • Walk towards what you resist and move through it instead of battling it. What you resist persists.

Find peace and stillness within yourself somewhere, somehow, to quieten your mind and let your heart and your soul speak. When it does, listen. And let that soft gentle murmur come forward and be your guiding light.