If your partner is on a sixteen-hour six and a half day work schedule and you’re feeling neglected, find out what his real priorities are. Many successful men and women are forever working at their jobs. And in the age of technology, people frequently ‘work’ the majority of their waking hours, emailing and texting throughout the night. It’s always a question of whether excessive work time is a requirement for success at a particular juncture, an ego need or simply a way of escaping and avoiding the challenges of life, including having an intimate relationship.
Don’t suffer in silence or necessarily break off your relationship. Think of it as an opportunity to calmly assess the situation. Figure out how it might be long-term to live with a partner who is rarely available. Talk to him and let him know that you are feeling neglected and listen carefully to his response. Find out how much time he is willing to negotiate and devote to you and your relationship. Do the pluses outweigh the minuses? Is the time you do spend together of sufficient quality to be satisfying to you? What’s important is that you are honest with yourself. There are always challenges of various kinds in every relationship. What I have found as a practicing psychotherapist with over 35 years of clinical experience is that if people really care about each other, they are willing to acknowledge, address and resolve issues; the goal being to find a win/win resolution. So if your partner is not able or willing to make some compromises and trade-offs, you will definitely be better off in the long term to find yourself a more emotionally and physically available partner who understands the importance of having a loving relationship.
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