For so long, I was in a race, searching for something. I use to get up daily, completely blank, yet deep inside my mind, this thought of search was always floating. Unknown to what, where, and how, I would start my day. Starting the day usually begins with checking your so precious phone. A few messages, irrelevant e-mails, e-commerce offers, and so much more. Yes, last night I did plan to sleep early, wake up early, not touch the phone the very moment I get up, go out for a walk, breath in the fresh air, sit down for some yoga/meditation, complete the pending tasks, and be more productive. Yet, here I’m sitting at the verge of dozing off again with my eyes barely opening and a phone in my hand with notifications popping up and begging to be opened.

Amidst all this, I feel it’s just my body that is here. My mind has been lost long back in its own world of fantasies and unrealistic expectations of everything falling into the correct place. It’s the body that wants some freedom now. For so long it has been ruled by the mind that it has started to wither off. Of all the mischief that the mind keeps on creating, the body keeps on fulfilling. It seems as if it is a master-slave relationship.

The moment slave desires of something for its own, the master runs all throughout the universe to find some exceptionally unrealistic cloud to hop on. It uses all the support mechanisms it has the logic, the drama world, worries, joy, decision power, knowledge of known & unknown to behold the slipping of the slave from his hand. And why not? Every master is afraid to lose a slave. A person or object who has been ruling over the years is obviously afraid to let go of a slave who obeys all orders irrespective of his own good/bad. Then it’s our Mind. How it can bear the very thought of abandoning its own self? From the day we opened our eyes, till the day we shut them off completely, MIND will always try its best to keep hold of us.

While the mind is completely wanderlust, the body is still here. Confined to limited spaces, serving unrealistic expectations, afraid of judgments around, in a big fat race of completely acing off all hurdles, a good job, a good relationship, respectful title, smartest smartphone, and the long list of never-ending desires. I wonder, what if someday the body out rules the mind.

• Will the desires of wanting more end?
• Will the search end?
• Who will actually win? Is it the body or the mind?
• What about my search? What about the blank and dull face I wake up with daily?
• Will this really satisfy me? Will I be content enough to live a life free of this mind-body fight?

I hope all of us know the harsh white truth. Of all the fights between the known & the unknown, the logical mind rules over the innocent self. Somehow we might win races we run into, in our daily lives, but are we actually winning?

• What does a win look like?
• Having a party? Treating friends?
• Going to the best places around the city? Sharing moments of joy?
• What exactly this win is? Why were we running for this? What did we get out of it?
• Are we preparing ourselves to run some race again?

And if its a yes!

• When will this vicious cycle get over?

Over time we find ourselves looking and searching for something of which we just have a glimpse. Our search continues indefinitely to find and get hold of this glimpse. Experience it and never let it go. But has anything stayed with us for long? Things come and go. People come and go. Experiences come and go. What are we holding? What is that glimpse which makes us run over and over again? Does that glimpse sound like its peace? Its solace? It’s our true self? It’s our happiness?

The real search a human does is for seeking the purpose of this life. The glimpse holds nothing but self-realization. The moments of joy, the showers of blessings, the ultimate truth, the wonderful smile, and just us. For so long, what I have been searching for is just “Me”. The desire is to know me more than anything else. The things I hold as beliefs inside me. The truths that are buried inside my heart. The darkness which absorbs all the light around. The answers to all the questions this life has put for me. The solutions to all the scenarios, this mind ever dares to create. When I have it all, why do I seek it outside? Why is it so hard to make myself answer my own questions? Why is that the mind is always wanderlust, while I just dream of stepping outside? Why do I run from my own self? And why so many questions, when the answer is just one?

Sit aside, let go of everything. Leave the mind. Let it fight over to win the race. We are not running this race. We do not own this race. This race doesn’t make us qualified for a peaceful living. Why choose chaos over solace? Let the winds bind up, things are as they are, and rise above all this. Dive into the biggest ocean of all. Go hit the bottom and stay there for as long as you want. Do not seek materialistic answers, find the answer to only one question that remains, and rules everything.

What is the purpose of my life?

Of a thousand questions I ask myself, this is the one that unites my mind and body. This is the one that acts as a treaty between the long wars. This is the one that made me search all the universe while it was in a deep sleep inside me. This is the one which makes me get up every day, step into the shoes of my mind, and go running. For so long, I have been searching the answers to unknown questions. Of a hundred races, I lose every day, trying to make peace with my mind and body, this is the hurdle which I search for. This is the real challenge I wish to solve over the time span I reside on this beautiful planet named: Earth.

Thanks for reading!

I hope someday each of us has our own answers to this standstill question. I hope we sail through all the deepest oceans, hitting no glaciers, and landing at the shore before the departure of our soul.