This is one powerful word, capable of conjuring up any number of mixed emotions and memories and regardless of whether you say it yourself or hear it liberated via the lips of another, things will never be the same once it’s out there.  

Image credit: @tinamosquito

2019 has been the year for goodbyes, on several levels. It certainly has been an interesting one with so much coming to the surface of our awareness and whole communities stirring to action like never before. It’s hard not to have been moved or inspired by what has been birthing in our collective consciousness of late and as we move towards the pointy end of 2019, the call to arms for the earth warrior continues – louder, stronger and lighter than ever.

With the closing of the 20th century in just a few short months and the birthing of the next with the indigenous and astrological prophecies happening on January 13th, we should all anticipate a more enlightened and awakened era. Have no doubt that 2020 is going to be a game changer, for all god’s creatures.

I’ve been jovially (but still slightly seriously) calling 2019 “the year of chaos and karma” because for me, it certainly has been an intense, bloody and explosive journey, but at the same time it’s been an incredibly insightful trip that I wouldn’t change for love nor money. I don’t think I have ever moved through so many consecutive rites of passage in my twenty years of personal or professional practice as I have during this one and whilst that has taken me to my edge more times than I could have imagined (or liked, to be honest), it has also opened some incredible doorways and created many amazing opportunities that have helped me step up and embody more of divine myself and ultimately, claim my full energetic power.

Nothing along the path was by accident of course – like you, I have been co-conspiring with the universe the entire time. Every path has led me back to who I truly am and equipped me with the trust to keep on keeping on, even when my heart is sad, my mind dark and my body weak. Especially then actually because it’s always in our most uncomfortable moments, that our greatest healing happens.

For each and every goodbye I have experienced, there has been an equally potent “hello”.

In fact, thanks to all the turmoil, I feel more like myself than ever before, more connected to my gifts and mission and readier than ever to step into the new universal frequencies currently on offer. The tapestry that is knowing and unknowing, continues to unravel, reweave and explain itself to me and for that I can have nothing but gratitude.

When we have an epiphany of any sort, we immediately find ourselves faced with a decision – to stay the same or move in a new direction – into the unknown, a space that our mind instinctively tells us is fraught with danger, but that our hearts assures us is not only beautiful, but exactly where we need to go.

There are many words to express the sentiment of separation or “goodbye”. “Farewell” is an option, although it doesn’t carry the same intensity as the g word I don’t think. It feels less final in a way. Goodbye cuts right to the core and is essentially the acknowledging of an ending, a completion and a heralding of things never being the same again. Death holds hands with goodbye in many instances too. Farewell smacks of ancient connotations and is more like a non-committal “see you later”, something the knights of old would quip as they charged off on yet another holy quest. “Fare thee well! Never fear, I shall return!”

You can’t take back an emotional goodbye said with conviction and power, whilst something in our DNA just knows farewell is temporary. Goodbye says “We will never see one another again and that is best for both of us”. It means our time together is over and whether you’re mumbling it to an old flame or mouthing it to a parting block of Cadbury chocolate, goodbye means “No more Amigo. Adios. We. Are. Done”.

So why do we have such a hard time sticking to our guns and making our goodbyes final?

I believe it has a lot to do with how we are genetically engineered, how our hormones are wired and the degree of inherited debris we are carrying in our cells, let alone what we drag around daily in our heads and hearts. We all carry way more baggage than we are often aware of at any given moment and when we start to consider this and then work to dislodge the things that hold us back from making choices that honour us, we can slowly become more capable of letting go.

Because essentially, letting go is all that goodbye is.

Letting go, saying goodbye and really acknowledging and accepting that a particular time, event, relationship or stage within a relationship (or friendship) is over, is possibly the hardest thing for us humans to practice, let alone master. It creates an uncomfortable space and goddess knows we do love to fill up empty spaces with new paraphernalia. Spaciousness challenges our sense of self because we’ve been conditioned to believe that having ‘nothing’ is a bad thing, when in fact (and certainly in yogic circles), no-thing (and no-one) is ours anyway and that through the practice of detachment (to all our peripheral and internal ‘stuff’), we are able to find the freedom we seek.

Letting go creates space and space invites transformation.

Nobody likes to feel like they have ‘lost’ (someone or something) and as a species we have been programmed for eons to believe that losing makes us inferior, vulnerable to attack or ridicule and definitely less likely to survive the trials of life. Hence, we hold on – hang on for dear life in many cases – and refuse to let go of what no longer serves us. Even when we know it is toxic, inappropriate or keeps us attached to our pain stories.

The classic example of this is when we break up with someone and then bounce backward and forwards – usually from one bed to the other – in a desperate ploy to rekindle and romanticise what once was. All to avoid being alone and feeling unloved. Here, the wounded part of us unconsciously chooses to sacrifice itself further in order to avoid feeling a (perceived) sense of deeper loss. Weirdly, that hurts less. We know in our hearts that this behaviour just delays the inevitable and yet we still can’t utter that bloody g word!

The irony (and the truth) is that we must say goodbye in order to find love, respect and peace. For ourselves.

Yep. The gift of goodbye. It’s one powerful mantra. And with anything yogic, practice makes perfect.