About seven years ago, I decided to upgrade my car. I needed an eight-seater so that I could contribute effectively to my carpool. The process of car buying was exhausting—the charade of soul-sucking negotiations and haggling.
We went to more than a few dealerships in five days, and every car sales associate we met would have somewhat the same spiel. This one goes from zero to sixty in 6 seconds (don’t quote me on specifics, but you know what I mean), followed by the superior technology and other relevant specifications. After day five, I asked my husband why they kept telling me the speed? I don’t plan on participating in NASCAR with a car full of children.
I was ready to quit when I met this salesman who started with, “ This car here will seat up to eight passengers, best in class cargo space, one of the safest cars on the icy roads. It’s a mid-size SUV with signature sporty looks.” He had me on Safe on icy roads, cargo space, and sporty looks (I refused to drive a mini-van). This man was talking to mother.
You see, when you are building a business, starting a career, transitioning into a new phase of life, speed is not a priority; stability is. Once we have a good handle on the soundness of our undertaking, we can start thinking about speed.
So what happens when you are driving 90mph (not recommended, especially with a car full of children). Your grip on wheels tightens, your breathing gets faster, you tense up, become very aware of other vehicles flying by that look like flying colorful dots. You become more isolated and become incredibly aware of the fact that any wrong move can have very disproportionate outcomes.
Life and work are very much like that. The zero to 90 trajectories is somewhat predictable. We can try to plan and anticipate the moves. But it’s 90 and up when the hesitation starts to set in. Do I scale, do I pull back, do I control every aspect of business, and before we know it, we have entirely gotten into our heads, and the grip on the wheels is creating indents on our sweaty palms.
I was discussing this analogy with a potential client. She is exceptionally bright, runs a multi-million dollar business, and has an excellent track record of success. At the end of our conversation, I asked her why she approached me since she had attained incredible heights in her career and life without much help.
She said to me, ‘ Anu, I am driving at 95mph at this point. Any decisions I make will be detrimental to my precious cargo; my team, employees, and respective families. Up until this point, we worked together and built this company, and now I have to make some decisions that will impact us in a big way. I need someone who can sit on the passenger seat and help me get out of my head, someone who is not just a flying colorful dot in the air outside of the car. I need someone who will know when to challenge me and push me to accelerate, and not hold back when I need to loosen the grip on the wheel and slow down.
If you are on a similar ride and getting a little shaky, don’t go at it alone, find someone who can sit on the passenger seat on your left (or right), articulate your thoughts and help you see what you cannot see because you are too focused, minding the wheels.