The day after I closed Love.Heal.Thrive.’s physical doors, I was exhausted- emotionally, energetically and physically. I spent the rest of the weekend sorting through my garage with a friend to find room for what had been brought home and to begin processing my grief.

I was heartbroken and tired. 

After turning in my keys, I decided to use hotel points to go away for a night to the ocean and out my feelings. 

cried them out,
journaled them out,
bathed them out

and silenced them out in my own private silent meditation retreat.

As I walked along the beach, the ocean waves came up to me and always stopped within an inch from me. I never consciously tried to avoid the water, yet the ocean water never once touched me.

I felt protected by Mama Earth because she knew it was freezing and not what I needed in that moment.

I just needed to be held by her. 

I spent a lot of time in meditation on the beach. When I opened my eyes after one particular meditation, I realized I had sat in front of this incredible rock that continued to withstand the crashes of every wave.

This rock was powerful and sturdy. It would divert the waves from me and slow each wave’s velocity so nothing but gentle, loving bubbles approached me.

I didn’t even realize I had sat in front of my protector until I opened my eyes. I had only noticed that the waves continued to foam up near me but never touch me. At the same time, this rock in front of me was bombarded with crashing waves and thundering noise all while remaining resilient and strong. 

I experienced the real life depiction of what it meant to be the rock for someone, especially for yourself.

This rock did not go anywhere and protected me when I needed it most. 
Upon returning home, I felt fragile but stronger. I was welcomed home with open arms and hugs from my family. My husband unzipped his hoodie to show me his shirt…

“Look honey, I wore my phoenix rising shirt for you.” 

This display of support meant everything to me.

It showed me that he understood that one chapter needed to close before the next one soared.

He understood it was messy and painful and purposeful.

He also knew, as did I, that I would rise again in a stronger and more incredible way.

But we must close the chapter that is ready to be closed so we can start the next one. It does not mean there won’t be lots of feelings even when you know it is for your highest good.

We must clear what does not serve us to achieve what we are destined here to do.

Join me for this week’s meditation on Clarity & Soul Clutter and clear what no longer serves you so you can welcome in the clarity you’ve been seeking. When you do, you find yourself living the destined life that is awaiting you.  I can’t wait to journey with you on this topic this week. 

Featured image by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash