When you are offended or hurt by another person’s actions, it can be tough to see beyond the offence, and this often leads to repaying it over and over in your mind, creating distress through over-analysis of another person’s behaviour.

If you have a strong character, you can often see beyond the shortcomings of others and forgive them their follies. When you do not possess this level of understanding, you may find it challenging to do so and may even elect to end friendships and relationships, instead of forgiving a perceived wrong done to you.

Learning to forgive sets you free from pain, hurt or anger, and you will discover that taking ownership for someone else’s behaviours can only hold power over you if you ‘choose’ to let it. Some people are afraid to forgive; they want to remember the hurt they felt so they feel justified in their choice to isolate that individual or as a reason to use the information to gossip to others.

This interaction gives them fuel and encouragement to support their choices and keeps them on a destructive path. You need to realise there is another way. True forgiveness frees you from emotive and immobilising strongholds and expands your awareness of these actions, it reduces stress and tension while at the same time restores positive feelings. It helps to develop your emotional intelligence so you can view situations, events, and communications from an alternative perspective, then you can work through it far more effectively.

Throughout your life, there will always be people that will test your boundaries, or violate your values, how you choose to respond is the key to mature growth. Take control and stop permitting these conditions to disrupt and damage your life; refuse to sanction the acts of another or let it waste your day. You ultimately choose your mood so let it go or let them go, for it is the fastest road to peace.


“True Forgiveness prevents YOU from being chained to other people’s behaviours in YOUR past, and without excusing those behaviours, releases YOU to focus energy on that which enriches YOUR future.”

Derek Mair


Today I will choose to see things differently. I refuse to jump to conclusions without first seeking to understand. I offer and ask for forgiveness for any wrong doings. I release them with love. I am filled with peace.


Put Yourself Back in Control:

  • Forgiveness is strength, an emotional muscle that you can develop. Choosing to address any wrong from a place of control is the best approach to release it. This doesn’t mean you are ok with a specific behaviour that someone projected, you can also point out to the offender how it made you feel, to hold them to account for their conduct.
  • Once you have accepted this option and decided not to direct your attention there, you must let it go. Please remove it from your consciousness, thereby confirming it’s no longer worth the constant anguish and worry that can arise from these feelings. You can still make a mindful choice to forgive that person whether they are aware of it or not; this gives you the gift to be able to detach from it.

Geraldine Mair