In these days we live stressed, simply running all the time without achieving some of our personal or professional goals.
Regardless of the mental map of each one, or the way we understand what happens around us, when we try to segment our lives in areas, it is easier to identify which ones are better than others, and so we can improve each one of them.
But, after all, what is living in balance? To be well:
– Good relationships?
– Professional success?
– Financial freedom?
In fact, what ends up happening is that we are never very well in all areas at the same time. If we are good in one area, we are not in another. If we give much importance to our professional life, we often end up hurting the physical or emotional part, or vice versa.
It’s a matter of focus. We get more into what we focus on.
As Tony Robbins says, “where the focus goes, energy flows.”
If we focus on one area, we get the best of it. On those we do not focus on, this area stays simply stuck.
I was impressed by a phrase I read a few days ago from a senior foreign executive working here in Brazil:
“You have to be willing to work, emotional and intellectual competence, and analytical thinking to identify the best strategy. Brazil is not a country for amateurs. Achieving balance here is an art. “
It’s an art. Here and in many other countries. The challenges are quite similar around the world. Balancing so many areas at the same time is very challenging.
The fact is that one area ends up affecting the other. Although we can divide them, trying to analyze better how we are in each of them, the lack of physical well-being, for example, can compromise our health, our energy, and other areas such as professional and financial.
But so far no news, right? Given the proportions between the different types or the size of the challenges we face, the truth is that most of us can not prevent one area from being compromised, in prevalence of another, and we simply can not change this game.
The change in this scenario can begin with a concrete visualization of what we want to achieve.
But if we only visualize, what prevents us from changing?
– Our beliefs.
– Lack of Focus.
– Have no purpose in the change.
“Beliefs make things happen. Beliefs come true. Inadequate beliefs are settings for poor performance. “(Blanchard and Shula)
Beliefs can be created in many ways, if anything happened, We assume the outcome of that event to be true, and it may be a positive or negative experience. I’ve heard a belief of the kind, “I have to get stressed to things happened!” If it ever worked for me to get stressed out for something to happen, I assumed that as a truth, and whenever I want something to work out, I get stressed.
These beliefs may also have been created by someone and taken seriously by a large number of people: Money does not bring happiness! Someone said this and became a truth, even for those who did not go through this experience.
Lack of focus
We must focus on what we want to achieve, not the problems we have. This seems kind of obvious, but we often think so. For example, “I do not start a new business because I do not have the money to invest.” But if we had the money to invest, would we know where to invest? That is, we focus on a problem, not the goal.
We get stressed when we put a lot of energy into less important things. We get lost in the middle of the journey, forgeting the main objective while we are paying attention to things without relevance. How much time do we spend on social networks, watching TV, or other activities that can jeopardize the development of certain areas?
We can only change something if we focus on one thing at a time. How about choosing one area at a time, and doing all the necessary actions to change it?
We need to find out what we want to do, not what we have to do. It is worth exploring this theme well. There are many discussions today about purpose, and many people find that there is a need to abandon the activity you are doing to find a purpose. That’s not the point. If our purpose is to help people, we do not have to quit our job and go on a humanitarian mission. Maybe we can help someone in our family, our community,or our co-workers.
Answer the following question: What bothers you about not accomplishing a goal? If we really want something, not doing this should give us a feeling of discomfort. Because we need to be really annoyed at not being able to, if it really matters. If we can not lose weight, for example, how uncomfortable is this situation? Or is it manageable? If it is manageable, I can’t feel a real advantage in changing.
What do you want at the end of the process?
Do we really crystallise what we want to achieve? Or do we get lost along the way?
It is therefore important to choose a well-structured method that takes into account the whole process and the variables of the change.
One method that I find very effective is the R.P.M method, well explored by Tony Robbins.
Results – Purpose – Massive Actions (R.P.M Method)
“Setting goals is the first step in making the invisible visible.” (Tony Robbins)
R (result): Being sure of the result I want to achieve
P (purpose): to have a definite purpose
M (Massive actions): Do many actions, massively, in large numbers!
I want to change my Physical area:
A: The end result is that I want to lose 10 kg
P: The purpose is to feel myself energized.
M: The massive actions I will take to achieve my goal: Walk 4 times a week for at least 30 minutes; Eat a low carb diet; Sleep 7 hours a day; Not ingest alcohol beverages or do it at most once a week
How are you in each area of your life? Give each one a note. Visualize and set a concrete goal. Find a purpose in this goal. Take many actions to achieve this goal.
So we can focus on each area effectively and improve. And most important, in the end we will be more balanced and energized to live better!