“All happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” This is the beginning epigraph to Leo Tolstoy’s novel “Anna Karenina” We are only interested in the first part! 

And indeed, if you look at it this way, happiness unites people, presenting the family as a single, cohesive social unit, and not a set of different characters, as we might see in movies or dramatic books. Are there any secrets that will help all families become happy? Of course, today, I will be discussing the four most important ones.

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1. Tolerance

Without it, bonds are broken easily. It is mutual tolerance that helps us to understand a partner and accept one with all of his/her characteristics, and quirks and habits. It is by tolerance that we not only learn to allow a partner’s weakness, but to love it as well, because we love all of them.

Often, it is this desire to change the partner that leads to the collapse of a relationship. 

2. Attitude towards the “little things

What are the little things? The little things might not appear so little at first, at least not until we take a step back, and with a clearer head, consider those things all over again. Sometimes, I refrain from acting over something and choose to sleep over them instead. If after taking a nap or getting some rest, the issue still looks infuriating, I realize that, perhaps, it is not worth ignoring anyway.

Most times, however, the qualms melt with the night. “Issues” like unwashed dishes, careless comments, burnt eggs – by morning they shrivel up into nothing. I think the little things, the in between moments, are what makes up a lot of the relationship. It develops into laughter, trust and essentially deep love. Thus, be cognizant of the way, you treat your partner and keep in mind the big picture – who is your partner as a person and how do they treat you? Do not dwell on the minutiae like carless comments, unwashed dishes or burnt eggs.

3. Be open to sharing

It has been confirmed that shopping together makes couples feel more united and happier. Thus, there’s no point in greediness, especially when your partner is open to sharing. If they are not, lead the way.

Sometimes we are terrified of sharing because we do not want to be vulnerable, except a close fist cannot receive gifts too. To receive love, we must be open to love, be open to sharing.

Shop together. Develop budgets together. Spend money together. Trust. 


4. No secrets from each other

As soon as you have a secret that you cannot share with a partner, the first crack appears, subtle, but present. An ominous presence waiting to be acknowledged one day.  

There is of course the discretion for certain secrets with reasons certainly known to us, but almost at all times, the reasons we keep secrets from our partners are not healthy.

They are there, just waiting to be let out of the bag one day. A transparent relationship sets the foundation for a happy family. What better way to cement trust than to be open to one’s partner?