Let’s be honest, everyone had been an asshole at some point in his/ her life. And some people have no idea they are being assholes.
Some do honestly think they’re just trying to help. However, despite the lack of consideration, both make the same debilitating effects to its target. Intentionally or not, you’re hurting someone.
So, for those who don’t realize they’re being assholes and those who are, but desires change, here are 5 guides for you to be a pleasant human being.
Assess yourself
“You can never model a bikini with that body” paired with a spiteful look of disgust on her face. Someone did tell me that.
My initial thought was “Can you?”. However, my brain started to visualize and scrutinize every part of my body.
Instead of seeing the flaw in her statement, I magnified my flaws.
First of all, I never said I wanted to model a bikini! Second, she doesn’t look that good herself.
Insecure people love to feed on someone else’s insecurity. They enjoy the look of self-doubt on others’ faces.
So, to assholes out there, try to assess yourself first. Look in the mirror. Look at your face. Your shoulder. Your knees. Your toes. Are you perfect? Nobody is.
Everyone is flawed and beautiful in their own way. Our flaws don’t make us who we are, so don’t make it such a big deal that you would have to declare your discontent.
Fight boredom- Get a life
“Being bored is an insult to oneself”- Jules Renard
Boredom is dangerous. Having nothing else to do rationalizes your abusive behavior. Try finding some new activities.
Boredom may be caused by a lack of control over your lifestyle. Sorting out your daily activities, journaling, or sticking up to a routine can keep you busy for a while.
Meditate
Heal yourself with meditation. Often, one’s poor lack of compassion is impinged upon by their inability to connect to their environment and oneself. People who lack empathy sees people as mere objects who lack the same emotion they possess. Meditating at least ones a day can help you stay grounded and focused.
Invest in yourself
The best thing you could invest in yourself is your time. Sometimes we get too fixated with what others are up to we forget to pay attention to ourselves. Instead of scrolling through social media and comparing yourself to everything you see, why not just grab a dusty book you’ve been planninug to read for months, go to the salon and get a pedicure, try out new chocolate cake recipes, buy that new anti-aging elixir your youthful aunt uses, or join a fun class on pottery!
No matter what it is, like a fun meet up with this hot guy you met online, or binge-watching season 2 of your favorite Netflix series, making yourself happy without demeaning others is a lot more attractive and advantageous for your mental health. After all, not making good terms with anyone is unsafe- you’ll never know when they might strike back.
Practice restraint
Treat it like anything you are obliged to accomplish. Just like waking up early in the morning to jog, sending reports on time, or doing your laundry every Sunday; be obliged to sift through your words. Impulsive actions can also be tamed. Simply breathe (yes, breath asshole) and THINK IT THROUGH. Ask yourself if you’re helping (Will she feel better if I tell her she’s ugly?) if not, just keep it to yourself.
Good job, you made it through!
If all else fails, please get yourself a therapist. Maybe your lack of empathy is caused by some past events or trauma. A psychoanalyst can help you navigate through your past and dig your heart back out. But if you’re just someone who enjoys making others feel miserable, then “with all due respect, please intercourse yourself.”