As the UK returned to a national lockdown earlier this week, I decided to share my thoughts on resilience. There is a ‘reservoir of resilience in my brilliance’. Some may say it’s a little cocky to describe oneself as possessing brilliance. I say it’s being self assured with a healthy dose of self confidence to boot. And yes, of course there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. No one likes a smart arse. But I can tell you, I ain’t no smart arse! ??

So… where did this ‘reservoir of resilience’ I have come from? If you’ve read my #BAMEOver article (which was recently published on Thrive Global) you’ll know that I didn’t have the best of childhood’s… it could have been better, but then it could have been worse. Yet, those shitty experiences (and the few more that came after it) are the very things that have built this ‘reservoir of resilience’ in me. It laid solid foundations of my inner core and the subsequent building blocks to just… keep going. 2018 was the toughest year of my life, and it was that summer where the husband of one of my dearest friend’s said to me: “You’re always smiling,” in a kind of bemused way, as if he couldn’t believe it given everything that was going on. I will admit that for some time that was more ‘for show.’ It was my coping mechanism. That said, I’ve always had a naturally sunny disposition. You could say it’s innate. What is also innate in me is ‘Being More Kid.’ It’s true, I am a big kid. A responsible big kid I hasten to add… but nonetheless, I have always embraced a child like quality where my mission in life is to radiate joy… that’s my ‘superpower.’

Over the last year ‘Being More Kid’ and ‘Radiating Joy’ have been my two staple mantra’s. And when one lives on one’s own, the ability to ‘Be More Kid’ increases because no one else is around to watch! It’s bloody brilliant. Although I have to say, I know now that if I ever live with anyone else again, this is the kind of crazy shit they’ll have to put up with, because nothing or no-one is ever going to stop me from ‘Being More Kid’ and ‘Radiating Joy’!

So what does ‘Being More Kid’ mean exactly? Whatever you want it to! For me, it’s indulging in my two of my passions… Music and Dance. I pretend I am a combination of Madhuri Dixit (my favourite Bollywood actress… watch this dance number and you’ll realise why. I mean first off, she is proper beautiful, second off just look at how she moves!) and Beyonce (one of my favourite female singers…I mean, she is also proper beautiful and she also knows how to move to the groove baby!) I whack on my tunes, I move my coffee table over to make more room in my tiny living room and then I let go of my inhibitions, imagining I’m dancing on stage in front of a packed audience. I do all this completely sober by the way! But I can tell you it’s so much fun! I forget about the shit show going on out there and just pretend I’m the world’s biggest superstar and let rip, singing at the top of my voice. Malcolm (my 80 year old neighbour) hasn’t complained – he says he can’t hear me!

When it comes to ‘Radiating Joy’… I’ve done it more with the aim of affecting others in a positive way. Back in the day it was more face to face. Now it’s more online, through my LinkedIn and Instagram posts. I write without holding back. Maybe I do overshare, maybe it’ll put off future boyfriends, maybe it’ll put off future employers! But I do it all with a pure sincerity and joyfulness in a way where people respect me for ‘Keeping It Real.’ I know some people think I’m a bit deep or a bit ‘extra’. But this is me ??‍♀️ I’ve let go of the fear of what people think about me now. I’m happy and I like to spread the joy I’ve found in myself and in my life. And when you ‘spread the joy,’ you get what you give. And I get back loads. I’ve had a few people say to me recently that they love reading my updates. I love that. I never write with the intent of getting people to ‘double tap.’ I write in the hopes it will make people smile. They don’t need to tell me it does, but when they do, it’s a lovely feeling.

So that’s it, that’s two of the ways I stay resilient (more to follow in that blueprint I’m going to write!) Is it a bit bonkers? Yes absolutely. Do I care? No I bloody well don’t. And if you ever get in touch or see me you better watch out because I will zap you with my joy radiation superpowers! ??? ??‍♀️