Dr. Whitney Gordon-Mead quote on unconditional love

If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” ~ Ru Paul

Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love. It’s a day to share the love with your partner, your children, your parents, your pets, or anyone who brings you joy. 

This day can be difficult for some. It may trigger unhealed trauma or make you question the absence of unconditional love in your life.

No matter how you feel about Valentine’s Day, keep this in mind…

Whether you are picking out gifts, planning your night out, or perhaps forgoing the holiday completely, remember that there’s someone else who may need extra attention today.

During this day that emphasizes the essential need of love, make sure to include the person that matters most… YOU!

Unconditional love is something we crave. Some say it is the route to happiness and joy. So why do we rely on another to provide it?

Unconditional love does not ask you to neglect your own needs or sacrifice your being. It’s a love that exists regardless of obstacles or imperfections. It’s true love and it’s the kind of love we can give to ourselves. 

Self-love is the most important relationship we can foster. It’s incredibly rewarding and essential to our growth. It helps us define who we are and how we connect with others. It can help heal our past trauma and remind us that we don’t need to look for love from others. 

Instead of searching for unconditional love from another, start looking within. Self-love is the key to realizing fulfillment and joy on Valentine’s Day and beyond. 

5 activities to nurture self-love on Valentine’s Day

1. Beautify your space

Tidy the house, organize your closet, tend to your garden or house plants, or, start a DIY project to add some brilliance to your space. It’s easier to love yourself when you love your surroundings.  

2. Lose yourself in nature

Read a book at a nearby lake, pond, or on the beach, watch the sunset, or enjoy a walk through your favorite park. Seeing the beauty in the world around you can help you connect with the beauty in yourself.    

3. Treat yourself with compassion and care

There’s always internal dialogue happening in your mind. Do your best to keep it positive. Compliment yourself often by using uplifting words.    

4. Unplug and practice being mindful

Being mindful and fully present can help you learn to appreciate yourself. Unplug from your electronics, allow yourself to disconnect from the distractions of life, and explore your inner Self. Meditation, movement, and journaling are mindful practices that help you connect with the present moment. 

5. Identify and celebrate your successes

Take a moment to remember where you were 5, 10, or 15 years ago. Make a list of your accomplishments since then. Celebrate your achievements and acknowledge how far you’ve come to get where you are today. 

Valentine’s Day is a holiday that can bring up feelings of unworthiness if you don’t have the “perfect” relationship. Keep in mind that an external relationship will not fill an internal void. Nurture yourself this Valentine’s Day because your journey to fulfillment starts with you. Revisit my article Spring Clean Your Soul: 7 Ways To Renew You for inspiration.

What ways do you practice self-love?

Do you…

  • Get enough sleep?

Sleep is crucial to our mental health. Lack of sleep can result in mood swings, anxiety and depression. When you give your body the sleep it needs, you send the message that you love yourself.

  • Eat healthy?

Eating healthy food makes you feel good. When you cut out junk food and stop over-monitoring your diet, you’re telling your body that you love it. This helps sustain your energy, regulate your hormones, and support you to maintain a positive outlook.  

  • Forgive yourself?

Leave the past in the past. Why dwell on things you can’t change? Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and make different choices moving forward.  Forgiveness is a powerful way to practice self-love.

  • Make time for yourself?

Self-care is essential to cultivating self-love. Make time for self-nurturing and self-reflection. Learn how to say NO to others and YES to yourself. It’s your life, so it’s up to you to make time to enjoy it. 

If you find it difficult to embrace self-love, click here to claim my free tip sheet: 10 Ways to Love Yourself

This gift will:

  • Help you identify areas where you can have more self-compassion
  • Encourage self-advocacy
  • Remind you of your self-worth
  • Support a shift in your mindset

Tame the self-deprecating dialogue that can come from not having someone special to spend Valentine’s Day with. Shift your mindset to that of appreciation for yourself, and claim unconditional love from YOU!  


  • Dr. Whitney Gordon-Mead

    Speaker, Certified Life Coach, Ordained Minister

    Intuit Wisdom, LLC

    About Dr. Whitney Gordon-Mead:   I sold my successful financial planning business and founded Intuit Wisdom so I could help successful, high-achieving women enjoy their success without sacrificing their health, wellbeing, relationships, and dreams.   As an International Speaker, Certified Master Trainer, Certified Accelerated Evolution Coach, Spiritual Counselor, and Ordained Minister, I’ve coached and counseled powerful professional women, business owners, and executives worldwide to experience physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual balance.   Amidst my three+ decades of research and experience, leading up to my doctoral degree in metaphysics, I was able to heal from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, post-traumatic stress disorder, and burnout. As a result, I designed a system for accelerated wellbeing that is rooted in metaphysics. I now use this proven system to empower each client to align with her essential authentic self, master her own wellbeing, and experience greater freedom and fulfillment in all areas of life. From relationships, work, and finances to family, health, and quality of life - there are no limits! What’s unimportant falls away. Magic happens, synchronicity.   Living in South Florida with my husband, Dean (the love of my life), and my cat, Whimsy, allows me to do the things I love, like spending time outdoors, boating, relaxing on the beach, and hiking. I also enjoy concerts and musicals, reading, writing, traveling, and investing.   My dream is a world where every woman says “YES!” to herself. I believe that life is not meant to be endured; it IS meant to be enjoyed!