A few years ago, I discovered my tendency to be a victim.

This attitude had everything to do with my insane relationship with food.

As victims, we see people, conditions and circumstances as bigger, more powerful than us.

We blame external factors for the way we feel or the things we do or don’t do.

We fall into the logic “if…then,” where we condition our responses or mood to uncertain events.

“If I lose weight, then I’ll be more confident”; “When I lose 5 pounds, I will find a partner”; or “I’m very stressed. I deserve to binge eat in front of the TV. ”

As victims, we abdicate our power to determine our lives to external factors.

We deny our self-responsibility, that capacity we have to be responsible for our actions and the attainment of our goals.

You communicate that you’re a victim with your attitudes, the language you use, and the things you choose to focus on, to name a few.

All victims needs someone or something to rescue them. The rescuer appears in the form of binge eating, dieting, or obsessive calorie counting.

It’s true that tough things in life happen. I’m not denying that.  You may have been a victim in the past. I’m not denying that either.

While we may not be able to change the circumstances or the past, we can choose how we relate to those experiences.

The future we choose to create depends on us.

Overcoming the victim mentality doesn’t mean that we’re not allowed to feel sad, anxious, frustrated, or disappointed.

It means that we accept our humanity, feel whatever feeling arises with self-compassion and self-acceptance, but move on and don’t stay stuck.

It’s unsustainable to live as a victim.

Only by recognizing that you have the power to be the author of your own life is it possible to create the reality you want.

You shift from victim, to creator.

In 2020, I want you to “catch” yourself being a victim and learn to create the reality you desire.

You can start by answering three questions:

  • Under what circumstances do I respond as a victim?
  • What reality do I want to create in those moments?
  • How would the woman who creates her own reality respond?

You always have at least two choices. With food, your body, and your life.

You can choose to go into victim mode…and you know how that feels. Or you can take the reins of our life and respond in ways that serve you.

I show you how during the Food Sanity Program* that starts on March 10. We can also work together individually**. Read more here.

Written by Lina Salazar.


  • Lina Salazar

    Anti-Diet Health Coach

    Live Well

    Lina is an Anti-diet Health Coach based in Washington D.C. She helps women make peace with food by breaking free from diet culture, increased emotional agility, and an enhanced attunement to their bodies. Lina’s practice is based on the principles of Health at Every Size® (HAES), intuitive eating, and leading insights and tools from eastern thought on how to actualize emotional, mental, and physical well-being.  She also works with companies and leads mindfulness sessions in organizations of all sizes. Prior to this work, Lina worked for several years in international development, passing through entities such as the OECD in Paris and the Inter-American Development Bank in Washington D.C. Lina holds a dual master's degree in Public Administration (MPA) from Columbia University, and Sciences Po in Paris. She is a political scientist and a lawyer from the Universidad de los Andes in Colombia. Lina got her certification at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York. Lina is a board member at FRESHFARM, a nonprofit that promotes sustainable agriculture and improves food access and equity in the Mid-Atlantic region. Lina writes for Thrive Global, and has been interviewed on the podcasts Lunch Agenda, Simple Roots, pineapple radio, Unbreakable You and A-Cup. You can follow Lina on Instagram, LinkedIn and read her blog.