A few years ago, I discovered my tendency to be a victim.
This attitude had everything to do with my insane relationship with food.
As victims, we see people, conditions and circumstances as bigger, more powerful than us.
We blame external factors for the way we feel or the things we do or don’t do.
We fall into the logic “if…then,” where we condition our responses or mood to uncertain events.
“If I lose weight, then I’ll be more confident”; “When I lose 5 pounds, I will find a partner”; or “I’m very stressed. I deserve to binge eat in front of the TV. ”
As victims, we abdicate our power to determine our lives to external factors.
We deny our self-responsibility, that capacity we have to be responsible for our actions and the attainment of our goals.
You communicate that you’re a victim with your attitudes, the language you use, and the things you choose to focus on, to name a few.
All victims needs someone or something to rescue them. The rescuer appears in the form of binge eating, dieting, or obsessive calorie counting.
It’s true that tough things in life happen. I’m not denying that. You may have been a victim in the past. I’m not denying that either.
While we may not be able to change the circumstances or the past, we can choose how we relate to those experiences.
The future we choose to create depends on us.
Overcoming the victim mentality doesn’t mean that we’re not allowed to feel sad, anxious, frustrated, or disappointed.
It means that we accept our humanity, feel whatever feeling arises with self-compassion and self-acceptance, but move on and don’t stay stuck.
It’s unsustainable to live as a victim.
Only by recognizing that you have the power to be the author of your own life is it possible to create the reality you want.
You shift from victim, to creator.
In 2020, I want you to “catch” yourself being a victim and learn to create the reality you desire.
You can start by answering three questions:
- Under what circumstances do I respond as a victim?
- What reality do I want to create in those moments?
- How would the woman who creates her own reality respond?
You always have at least two choices. With food, your body, and your life.
You can choose to go into victim mode…and you know how that feels. Or you can take the reins of our life and respond in ways that serve you.