You’ve probably heard that going through a divorce is one of the most difficult things that one could experience. If this is your first time, you may be a little skeptical about going through a divorce without drama. It doesn’t have to be that way, however. In my time working as a Bergen County, New Jersey divorce lawyer and family law attorney, here are three ways I have witnessed separating couples experience an uncomplicated divorce:


Don’t be afraid to have difficult and challenging conversations with your spouse. Discuss your expectations, fears, and outcomes from the divorce. Oftentimes, complicated divorces occur because married couples choose to make decisions behind each other’s back, and ultimately cause emotional distress by disregarding the feelings of the other person. You can avoid all of this through honest communication. Be open and talk about why you want a divorce in the first place, and make a plan for how you’d like things to go after the divorce.

Make a list of everything you own outside of the home, car(s), and other rental properties. Separate your bills from your spouse’s bills, then make a plan on how the two of you will split ownership of certain things. Doing these things will help to alleviate any stress that may arise during divorce proceedings.

Put Family First

If you and your spouse have a child (or children) together, this is especially important. It is recommended that you have open and honest communication about the upcoming divorce with your children also. Assure them that everything will be alright and welcome any questions they may have. Depending on their age, you will have to make a conscious decision on how honest you would like to be when answering certain questions. Nonetheless, you and your spouse should develop a plan regarding visitation, custodial rights, and maintaining the family structure. Ensure that just because the two of you will be getting divorced, it does not mean the family is broken up.

Avoid Procrastination

Sometimes, taking the first step to filing a divorce is the most difficult one. You and your spouse may have been discussing it for months now, but no one has made the move yet. However, the longer you wait, the divorce process can become more burdensome. You and/or your spouse now have had time to ponder on what you originally agreed to, and a lot of uncertainty can now take place. You might have discussed with other people outside of family, and now you’re reconsidering splitting assets, joint custody, and other agreements. A general rule of thumb is to avoid procrastination and take immediate action on whatever decision feels right in your life – including a divorce.


This article contains general information and opinions from Sheena Burke Williams and is not intended to be a source of legal advice for any purpose. No reader of this article should act or refrain from acting on the basis of information included in this article without seeking legal advice of counsel. Sheena Burke Williams expressly disclaims all liability with respect to actions taken or not taken based on any content in this article.