Because of social distancing mandates being lifted, more often than ever, we’re hearing people proclaim, “I’m going to take back what 2020 stole from me!” Since last year, tourism has increased, restaurants are booming again, and some people are physically returning to the office after working from home for over a year. Also, due to the pandemic, many marriages have resulted in a divorce. If this is your story, and you are seeking ways to reinvent yourself, in my experience as a Bergen County New Jersey divorce attorney and family lawyer, here are three (3) ways to take back your life after a divorce:

Work Through Your Emotions

Surely, going through a divorce is very tumultuous and heartbreaking for some. You may feel resentful, bitter, and embarrassed about the situation. However, these emotions are normal and they should not be ignored. Work through your feelings and visit a counselor or therapist regularly if needed. Grieving is part of the divorce process, therefore you need to embrace this process in order to heal and move on with your life. Remember, however, while you are working through your emotions, do not allow them to overtake you.

Discover New Things About Yourself

After you work through your emotions, you will experience a silver lining as you accept life after a divorce. You will now have time to do things you probably wouldn’t have done while married. Marriage can often lead to a loss of identity within some couples. They place a lot of things on the backburner, ignore their dreams, and/or live a mundane lifestyle. Now that you are single again, you can take back your life and pursue a new hobby, cut your hair (or let it grow out), and/or travel the world. Live your life unapologetically and actively discover new things about yourself.

Embrace Being Alone

Many people have the misconception that being alone means being “lonely.” That is farthest from the truth. Embracing being alone means to accept your single status while avoiding rushing into another relationship. Don’t be ashamed to date yourself – go to a restaurant and dine solo, treat yourself to spa days, or spend time outdoors regularly. Recent studies show that there are over 30 million single people in the United States. With that said, there’s still an opportunity for you to update your single status when you are ready. For now, continue to embrace being alone and allow a new relationship to flow its way into your life (instead of “looking” for one).

In conclusion, your newly unmarried status is not a death sentence. Do not sulk about your divorce, because if you and your former spouse were meant to remain together, you’d still be together. Everything happens for a reason. Work through your emotions, learn new things about yourself, and embrace your (temporary) single status. By doing these things, you’ll soon find that you are able to take back your life and will no longer feel depressed about your divorce.


This article contains general information and opinions from Sheena Burke Williams and is not intended to be a source of legal advice for any purpose. No reader of this article should act or refrain from acting on the basis of information included in this article without seeking legal advice of counsel. Sheena Burke Williams expressly disclaims all liability with respect to actions taken or not taken based on any content in this article.