Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. This is probably the hardest since we’ve been conditioned to compare ourselves and we’re constantly being bombarded by the media and our environments with everything that’s wrong with us. The key is to learn to focus on what’s right with you and accept you are different than anyone else on the planet.
Have you ever noticed how often we equate success with more? Whether that’s more products, more profits, more activities or more accomplishments, we buy into the belief that we have to do more to have more to be more. And that will sum up to success. And then along comes The Great Resignation. Where employees are signaling that the “more” that’s being offered — even more pay, more perks, and more PTO — isn’t summing up to success for them. We visited with leaders who are redefining what success means now. Their answers might surprise you.
As a part of this series I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Tilde Guajardo.
Tilde is a serial entrepreneur, TEDx Speaker, global mentor, author, investor, and a proud Army Veteran. As a Spiritual Alchemist, she teaches others how to use challenge to create change and turn trauma into transformation. Tilde is on a mission to help leaders and conscious organizations rethink wellbeing and shows them how to use faith and love as the foundation for success.
Thank you for making time to visit with us about the topic of our time. Our readers would like to get to know you a bit better. Can you please tell us about one or two life experiences that most shaped who you are today?
Early on in life, I almost called it quits. Fueled by childhood sexual trauma and flashbacks, I reached a breaking point and considered ending my life. Had I done so, I would’ve become another statistic. Another young Hispanic woman fallen victim, due to child sexual abuse.
But I didn’t, instead one day I cried out to God for help, and He answered my simple prayer in a miraculous way. Since that day, I’ve never had another flashback again, and I seized the opportunity to transform myself into the new woman I could now imagine. A powerful woman full of faith, hope and love, no longer shackled by anger, fear or shame.
I didn’t know it at that time, but I was cultivating a teachable strategy to inspire anyone to become enthusiastic about change, by rediscovering their Divine identity, purpose, and power. I’ve been doing it for over 20 years in various capacities.
Today, I help women leaders, conscious businesses and organizations rethink how to integrate Spirituality into their everyday lives or culture, so they can thrive. I created The Divine Quotient™, which is a practical and repeatable methodology, to inspire change, growth, and happiness, even amid chaos.
We all have myths and misconceptions about success. What are some myths or misconceptions that you used to believe?
I used to believe success was all about outward appearances, titles, wealth, recognition, as well as in the work hard, play harder mentality. Like many people, I grew up in a household where one of the questions you’re asked as a child is “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, and depending on the answer you give it is met with approval or disapproval.
This type of conditioning, created a personal drive to prove myself to others, in hopes I would receive their stamp of approval. I prided myself on getting good grades, being popular, receiving medals and awards, being promoted faster than anyone in my Army platoon, then working my way up into one of the most coveted positions at a major airline. I believed this type of success would make me feel fulfilled and happy, and it did, but only for a very short time.
How has your definition of success changed?
I no longer look outward for validation or approval. I define success uniquely for myself, by looking inward, and my success is living in Spirit-Mind-Body alignment. It’s where I ask myself “Are my thoughts, words and actions in line with my highest good?” In doing so, I’m living a more fulfilled, meaningful and joyful life.
My success no longer hinges on approval from people or accumulating things. However, this doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the approval or things, it means I’m no longer driven to have them.
The pandemic, in many ways, was a time of collective self-reflection. What changes do you believe we need to make as a society to access success post pandemic?
Dr. Bruce Lipton said it best when he stated, “We are made in the image of God, and we need to put Spirit back into the equation if we want to improve our physical and mental health.” I completely agree with him.
For too long, we’ve ignored, denied, or overlooked we are both spiritual and human beings. In order for us to collectively thrive and evolve as a society, we need to embrace the truth of who we really are and listen to our Spirit. In order to do so, we have to slow down and look inward.
Most of us are going through our days and nights on auto-pilot, performing the same rituals, having the same encounters, dealing with the same problems and creating the same type of results. Research shows over 80% of all of our decisions are made from our subconscious minds, which means our past experiences are dictating our future. People than wonder why their lives feel so boring or unfulfilled.
The most important change we can make personally, which will make a positive impact on society is learn to live led by our Spirit, in what I call Spirit-Mind-Body alignment. We need to begin to make more decisions from our heart and conscious mind, as well as in the present moment.
I created The Divine Quotient™ methodology to guide people inward and reconnect with their Spirit, so they can rediscover their true identity and live a more heart-centered life. It inspires change, growth, and happiness, with love at its core and faith as its foundation.
What do you see as the unexpected positives in the pandemic? We would love to hear a few of your stories or examples.
The most unexpected positive in the pandemic was the time for self-reflection. It allowed everyone, who was willing, to stop and take an honest look at their lives and decide whether they were happy or needed to make some changes.
One of the results is the Great Resignation, where over 24 million people have not returned to their old jobs and opted for change. I believe many millions more will do the same in 2022.
The pandemic caused me to pause and re-evaluate my personal and professional relationships. I realized I had to let go of feeling obligated to please others at the expense of my well-being. I had become accustomed to putting my well-being last, in order to ensure others were made to feel loved, accepted or like a priority. The irony was, I was left feeling unloved and much less than a priority. It wasn’t their fault, I had done it to myself. I realized I had to make some changes and I did.
It’s never easy to sever ties, especially if you’re like me and hate to hurt or disappoint others, because you love them. However, this time it felt liberating and empowering to choose what was best for me, since having my epiphany.
This experience has made me much more self-aware of the types of relationships I cultivate in my life now.
The other unexpected positive for me was refining who I serve and how I serve them. I looked deeper into my Divine identity to rediscover gifts, talents and skills. All of which, I had not been using to their full potential, and now they help me serve others with greater capacity, influence and impact.
We’re all looking for answers about how to be successful now. Could you please share “5 Ways To Redefine Success Now?” (Please share a story or example for each.)
- Go Inward
Prayer and meditation are the easiest and quickest ways to find out what’s best for you now! Get out of your head and into your heart. Prayer is where we can talk to God, Source, Higher Power, Spirit or The Divine, and can ask any questions. Meditation is where we listen for the answers we seek. In meditation, we are quiet and open to receiving any messages. A great question to ask is “What does success look and feel like for me?”
2. Believe In Yourself
Stop doubting yourself. Try something different. Take some risks. Follow your heart and intuition. Remember the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results. If it doesn’t work out, try again!
3. Stop Competing with Others
When it comes to redefining success, the only healthy competition is with yourself. Find ways you can think, be and do better.
4. Stop Criticizing Yourself
We can be our worst enemy with our negative self-talk. Become more self-aware and find ways to become your biggest cheerleader. You won’t find a bigger fan than your Spirit, so learn to tap into it!
5. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
This is probably the hardest since we’ve been conditioned to compare ourselves and we’re constantly being bombarded by the media and our environments with everything that’s wrong with us. The key is to learn to focus on what’s right with you and accept you are different than anyone else on the planet.
How would our lives improve if we changed our definition of success?
People would feel much more satisfied and content with themselves and the world around them. Instead of merely surviving through life, they would be thriving in every area of life.
In redefining success, individuals begin to also live life with more freedom, clarity, and joy. Imagine breaking free from living in a box filled with “have to’” and begin living from a space of “I’d love to”. This new way of thinking naturally challenges old belief systems.
A big part of my work is teaching people how to dismantle old belief systems and embrace new belief systems that are aligned with their highest good. My clients naturally progress and continually evolve into new and better versions of themselves.
What’s the biggest obstacle that stands in the way of our redefined success? And what advice would you offer about overcoming those obstacles?
The biggest obstacle is always fear. Fear of change, fear of what others might think or say, fear of rejection, fear of failing, fear of missing out and the list goes on and on. Fear can get so big it stops us from taking any action.
My advice is to make your love or desire for this new experience bigger than your fear. You must want it more, so when fear creeps up in your mind you know how to embrace it and move through it.
Another piece of advice is to stay curious and allow life to unfold without trying to guess or force what happens next. Be like a kid on a big adventure and be wowed by the unfolding of life. Have faith and believe you can handle anything that comes your way, because you can.
Where do you go to look for inspiration and information about how to redefine success?
I find inspiration from many different sources like mentors, experts, authors, and many times in nature. However, if I want to redefine success for myself, I practice what I teach and go inward.
My Spirit is my biggest source of love, inspiration, and encouragement. It reminds me how much I’ve accomplished and grown and provides me the wisdom and guidance I need to continue my unique path.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He, she or they might just see this if we tag them.
There are a few women authors I would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, because a part of my heart and soul resonated loudly with their words. They are Glennon Doyle — “Untamed”, Meggan Watterson — “Mary Magdalene Revealed”, and Sue Monk Kidd — “The Book of Longings”. I’d love to sit and talk to them about spirituality, life, and writing.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this. We wish you continued success and good health.