Triple down on self care- Self care has been above work for a while now but meditating, exercising and going on long walks have been huge for me. I go on three long walks a day, I’m by myself and it allows me to clear my head.

Have you ever noticed how often we equate success with more? Whether that’s more products, more profits, more activities or more accomplishments, we buy into the belief that we have to do more to have more to be more. And that will sum up to success. And then along comes The Great Resignation. Where employees are signaling that the “more” that’s being offered — even more pay, more perks, and more PTO — isn’t summing up to success for them.

As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Tyler Whitman.

Tyler is a seasoned real estate professional with over a decade of experience helping people find homes in NYC. Originally from the south, Tyler moved here with big dreams of living an entrepreneurial life. After a disappointing experience working with a broker to find his first Manhattan home, he knew that this was the area where he could make a positive impact on a large scale. Tyler believes that buying, selling, or renting a home should be one of life’s best experiences.

In his real estate career thus far, Tyler has not only worked as an agent; he was Triplemint’s original Head of Sales. He joined Triplemint because he holds the same mission, that of greatly improving the real estate experience. After several years on the company’s leadership team where he trained and coached agents through thousands of rentals and sales, Tyler now leads the top producing sales team at Triplemint. The Whitman Team is one of the most talented and dynamic real estate teams in all of NYC, known for their analytical skills, generosity, and ability to make real estate a fun experience.

Thank you for making time to visit with us about the topic of our time. Our readers would like to get to know you a bit better. Can you please tell us about one or two life experiences that most shaped who you are today?

Moving to New York is one of those unforgettable things. I didn’t go to college and I grew up in a very small town in the South where very few people left at all and if they did it was typically to another small town. I always dreamed about living in New York and moving there. I didn’t have any money but having not only the courage to move here but the courage to stay shaped me. The first decade of living in New York was the least glamorous decade you could possibly imagine. The only thing that kept me here was pride and pushing through that struggle has made me who I am today. Because of that experience, I now stare “struggle” down! Hard things don’t scare me at all anymore.

We all have myths and misconceptions about success. What are some myths or misconceptions that you used to believe?

I would say that growing up I always felt like you had to go to college to be successful. I think many of us are raised to believe that, but there have been many examples of humans as to why that is not true. I don’t think college is for everyone. I went to college very briefly, I was very uncomfortable and felt very out of place. It was the first time I really questioned my existence, and yet I still moved to New York and found my way and found a path that really worked for me. Living in New York, I know a lot of people who have done the exact same thing. This isn’t an ad for “don’t go to college” but it is an ad for people to keep an open mind. College is not for everybody and it’s not the only path to success. You don’t have to go to undergrad then grad school, law school or medical school. While that’s definitely helpful and there’s a lot of people who thrive off of education, love it and it gives them confidence, there are other people like myself that college takes an opposite toll on.

How has your definition of success changed?

I won’t lie I have been wanting to be rich ever since I was a little kid. I love nice things, luxury brands, and pretty cars. One of the main reasons why I became a real estate agent is because I love going inside sexy homes that cost a lot of money. I have gotten to a place now in my career where I can have things that I’ve always fantasized about. It’s interesting because I’ve realized on this little life journey that too many people attach their success to these external things. There’s also a lot, especially in my industry, of a mindset around “What are you going to do next?” “How are you going to get to the next level?”, etc. I’m at this beautiful place in my life right now, where I finally feel like I have enough. I am very happy and content. I love my career, my work life balance, my relationships, my ability to travel and I don’t need more. My idea of success is realizing that once I got to a certain level in my life it was enough and you don’t have to keep doing more, or keep going to the next level. Everyone is obsessed with being number one and I realized that a ranking does not define your success, it’s how much you love your life.

The pandemic, in many ways, was a time of collective self-reflection. What changes do you believe we need to make as a society to access success post pandemic?

The world is going to have to stop fighting so much. I think there has to be more listening and less screaming. There’s nothing anyone can do, to make political parties not feel the way that they feel. It’s about getting in the same room, having a conversation, letting points be heard and a little bit of agreeing to disagree. If you look at my social media, I was very much one of those people who said “everybody needs to be vaccinated” “everybody needs to be wearing masks, everybody needs to be doing this” and I found myself getting so angry about it then surrounding myself with people who were equally as passionate and angry. I realized that no matter what, people are going to do what people are going to do. Yes, be passionate, make your feelings heard and get things out there but if somebody is not going to do what you think is right I think we all have to do a little bit of letting go. We are fighting a lot right now and it’s time to live.

What do you see as the unexpected positives in the pandemic? We would love to hear a few of your stories or examples.

I am definitely somebody who has really enjoyed the remote life. This is something that I was discussing with my team a lot recently, and we all shared guilt that the remote life has allowed us to not have a set schedule. I feel like I have a lot of commitments that I need to make but it’s feels less like “I need to be in the office from 9–6” and more like “okay i’m going to the gym at 9, I have an appointment at 10 and then I’m going to get coffee with so and so, then I have a Zoom meeting etc.” I love the bobbing and weaving of it all, instead of everything being chunked into eight hours. I have more time to do personal things and I’ve really grown to love that. This is coming from someone who doesn’t have children, children seem to be the great divide on how people feel about the remote life lol! For me, it has given me the lifestyle that I have always dreamed about.

We’re all looking for answers about how to be successful now. Could you please share “5 Ways To Redefine Success Now?”

  1. Living in action- Now is the time instead of talking about all the things you want to do, shut up and do them! Going out, not being afraid of failure, taking a little risk and doing that thing you’ve always said you wanted to do.
  2. Triple down on self care- Self care has been above work for a while now but meditating, exercising and going on long walks have been huge for me. I go on three long walks a day, I’m by myself and it allows me to clear my head.
  3. Be really smart with your money- It does not matter if you have 10 dollars or 10 million dollars, be smart with where you are putting it, how much of it you’re saving, how much you’re enjoying and how much you are investing. I have never been good with my money, I’m the kind of person when I get a big check I’m like “what expensive thing do I want?” It has been really empowering and felt good for my confidence to either go out and spend it or blindly put it in a bank account. Now, I look at the money and say where I’m going to put it. I will put this much in this account, donate this amount to charity and then I am going to buy that cute shirt I have been wanting. Be really intentional with every single dollar you have.
  4. Take time everyday to call three people and check in on them- Get outside of yourself and check in with somebody else. Whether that is a friend, someone you haven’t seen in a while, somebody you believe that you pissed off along the way. Just pick up the phone, call them and see how they are doing.

How would our lives improve if we changed our definition of success?

The pressure can completely go away, if you take away the definition of what society has painted as success. Really get specific about how you want your life to look and get comfortable with the fact that it’s not about getting there tomorrow or a year from now. It’s about being patient and holding the vision of what you really want. Do the little things everyday that are going to slowly add up. I had a life coach tell me once “success is like climbing a spiral staircase, and while you’re looking down taking one little step carefully, going around in circles, a year later you eventually look up and your whole world has changed.”

What’s the biggest obstacle that stands in the way of our redefined success? And what advice would you offer about overcoming those obstacles?

I think there are so many people that have things they would like to do but don’t have the financial means to do so. I think what one should do is, take a huge step back from the big picture and focus on the little steps that are going to get you there. A lot of people I talk to in my field and outside of my field, seem to have a common feeling that money is the biggest obstacle in the way of taking a risk, moving into a new career, buying a house etc. Like if your goal is buying a house, don’t be disappointed if you don’t have the downpayment to go shopping tomorrow. It’s about saying “okay what plan am I going to do to start saving for my down payment” whether it’s cutting back on some current expenses, picking up part time work or a combination of both. Make the plan and start taking the little actions to get you there.

Where do you go to look for inspiration and information about how to redefine success?

A big thing for me is that I start everyday with an AA meeting, it’s my medicine to start the day. It teaches me humility, to go outside of myself, and it gives me a lot of tools about dealing with life and the things I cannot control.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He, she or they might just see this if we tag them.

This is hard because I get nuggets of knowledge from so many different types of humans but I would say Michelle Obama. There is something about her that is such a force and I love it.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

Instagram is definitely where I am most active (@tylerwhitman). We are starting a Youtube, and once this podcast kicks off hopefully we will be on every podcast streaming platform. One of the episodes of the podcast is Glendda teaching me how to get on TikTok so I will be on there soon!

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this. We wish you continued success and good health.