“Your outfit is cute, but something’s off. Your hair probably needs to be touched up, but I guess it’s fine. Oh, and by the way, you were kind of annoying yesterday and I really thought we were supposed to be working on that,” says the mean girl in your head as you get ready to head out for the day.
Why is it so easy to talk to ourselves like we’ve done something wrong or deserve to be treated poorly? It has become increasingly easy to tell ourselves all the things we do wrong or dislike about ourselves on a daily basis, but what if it were the exact opposite? What if it were easy to tell ourselves all of the things we loved about ourselves and were proud of?
Take a minute and consider how you would speak to a sweet little baby or to your go-to gals. If you’re anything like the majority of the world, you speak sweetly to babies and friends. You speak playfully and lovingly with compliments and a caring spirit. When thinking about how I speak to my friends, I realized that I encourage, celebrate, and give grace to these people in my life. I pray for them and cheer them on. I surprise them, love seeing them smile, give them gifts, and stay connected to their stories. I’m patient with them, remind them they are wonderful and tell them I love them often.
Is this the way you treat yourself? Is this the way you speak to yourself? For most people, the answer is no. We’re speaking to ourselves in a way that hurts, diminishes, and discredits all of the love we truly deserve. If this sounds like you, good news! You’ve come to the right place. You see, that pattern has the ability to change if you want it to with a few simple steps.
So let me ask you, how are you doing when it comes to loving yourself? And I don’t mean throwing on a face mask for 10 minutes before you rush into the shower or eating one good meal and pretending like you have it all together. I mean how are you genuinely doing when it comes to showing your deepest self the healing love you deserve? A quick way to discover how you are actually doing when it comes to loving yourself is to pay attention to the way you speak to yourself in your everyday life.
When you look in the mirror, do you respond with kind words? When you’re driving in the car, are you listening to positive tunes? When you’re picking what you want to eat for dinner, are you thinking about how it will nourish your body for days to come? During every minute of every day, are you speaking to yourself in a loving, patient, playful, forgiving, and tender way?
I want you to know something and it may help to write it down. First things first, YOU are the most valuable asset in your life, and the most IMPORTANT relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. It will affect & dictate every single relationship in your life, as well as influence everything you want to be, do and have.
The way in which you treat and love yourself will quite literally impact and change every other relationship you’ll ever have. If you are unwilling or unable to love yourself and speak kindly, no one else will ever be able to do it for you.
It’s time to start treating yourself like a best friend or a beautiful baby. Each morning when you wake up, look directly into the mirror and say, “Hello, beautiful!” or “Hello, handsome!” Make a list of all the things you can do to take care of yourself on a daily basis, and then stick to it. You could exercise more frequently than normal, treat yourself to a manicure and pedicure once a month, or even go to bed 30 minutes earlier a few times a week.
Whatever way you choose to take care of your mind, body and soul is completely up to you. But as soon as you possibly can, start to care for yourself in all the good ways and say goodbye to talking down to yourself!