We all want to be happier, right? There’s always something new to add to our routine, or something old we should probably do with taking away… but when there are SO many things to change and SO many ways of doing it, it can feel a little overwhelming when it comes to ACTUALLY making that change to be happier. And which is the easiest way of actually being happier?!
You look in the mirror every morning and think THIS is the week I take care of my skincare, THIS is the week I start exercising, THIS is the week I’ll start saving. THIS is the week I’ll feel better about life. And then you try to do EVERYTHING and you end up back where you started and miserable. Again.
So, what do we try first to actually be happier? Start with food? With exercise? With a hot bath and yoga? And which is the quickest and easiest way to be happier? You’ll be happy to know (there you are, it’s already working), that I have the answer right here.
You have to start with your mind. And you have to have patience and love for yourself. Now if you think, ‘I don’t have either of those things right now’, that’s ok. This will get you there. We’re just going to start small.
Our mind controls everything in our world and it has the power to change everything in our world. I’m sure you’ve heard somewhere that happiness comes from within, blah blah blah but no-one actually tells you HOW to be happy, and it’s pretty straight-forward once you know how, just takes a little determination which I know you have.
I hit a bit of a road-block when it came to my happiness. I used to be a very happy person. Always looking on the bright side, always seeing the best in people. Of course I’d be sad and angry and frustrated, but they were fleeting emotions that I felt I had control over. And then my Dad died and I was faced with the realisation that happiness is also fleeting and sadness is overwhelming. I had two choices, feel sad and out of control or feel happy and in control.
It was a hard journey. But I’m here to show you how to do it the easy way. I’ve spent my whole life reading and learning and growing, studying psychology, teaching yoga, coaching women, moving overseas, starting a business and giving it up, buying a house – all to bring me to this point so I can share it with you. Each day after my Dad died, I would check myself. Whenever my mind started wandering down a negative path, or I’d start blaming myself or thinking of a terrible and terrifying future, or a bully thought would come into my head (all things that stop you from being happy), I stopped. I listened to my thoughts. I reframed them.
Instead of listening to ‘you can’t do that, Helen’, ‘you shouldn’t have done that, Helen’ and ‘you’re not good enough, Helen’, I told myself to just be aware of those thoughts. Be aware that they are JUST thoughts, nothing more, and they were all stopping me from being happy. I reminded myself they were negative thoughts and I had the power to listen to them, or to change them. So I changed them.
‘You CAN do that, Helen’
‘You did the RIGHT thing there, Helen’
‘You ARE good enough, Helen’
And sure enough, my happiness changed. I allowed myself to feel the emotions coming up, to be aware of the thoughts coming up and I let them go. I was happier.
So I challenge you to do the same. The easiest and quickest way to be happier is to reframe your thoughts. Doing so takes patience with yourself, it might happen overnight, it might take days, months, it depends on how often you catch yourself! With practice, it gets easier and easier.
Step by step, here is the quickest and easiest way to be happier. Right now.
- LISTEN. Just listen and be aware of your thoughts. Remind yourself they are just thoughts, they are not reality, they are just a small voice in your head on default. Think of those thoughts as a little guest in your head, YOU can decide whether you listen to that guest or kindly tell her to piss off.
- LET GO. Once you’re aware of that negative and destructive thought, take a deep breath and let it float away.
- CHANGE IT UP. Whatever negative thought popped into your head, tell yourself the exact opposite. Repeat it, take a deep breath until you FEEL it.
It sometimes helps to write it down so you can see it there in front of you. Write the negative thought, scribble it out and re-write the positive thought. And you can do this for any and every goal you have too – want to exercise but don’t feel motivated? Change it up to, ‘I am so motivated, I love my body and I want the best for it.’. Want to save money but just can’t? Change it up to ‘I’m learning how to be good with my money, and I make good choices for my future’. All of these elements in life contribute to our happiness. When we’re moving forward, we’re happier. When we praise ourselves, we’re happier. When we realise the universe and our mind has our back and it isn’t AGAINST us, we’re happier.
There are TONS of ways we can all learn to be happier; mindfulness, meditation, gratitude, charity. But THIS is the quickest and most sure-fire way to be happy. Right. Now.
You can do this, I know it 😉