In my experience as a Bergen County, New Jersey divorce and family lawyer I have seen some couples go through with divorce proceedings only to find out later that they may have made a mistake. They still have feelings for each other and desire to reconcile and become a family again. There are various reasons why married couples contemplate getting back together before the divorce is finalized. If you are in this predicament, this article is for you. Here are some reasons parties sometimes choose to reconcile and stop the divorce proceedings.

For the Sake of the Children

Children play a vital role in a marriage – especially if they are younger. Couples have gotten used to the familiarity of waking up, getting kids prepared for school, and simply watching them grow up. Joint custody is not the same as being around your child every day. You may not want to be mandated by courts to split time with the other parent. As an experienced family lawyer, it is not uncommon for couples to want to stay together for the sake of kids.

Your Problems Were Occasional

What may have seemed like major arguments when you were married are now just minor disagreements, in hindsight. Now that you have had time to process your divorce, you realize that there was a communication issue between you and your spouse that needed to be worked on. Your problems were occasional compared to other couples you know. When you look back and reflect on prior issues, and are willing to forgive, then you are on the right track to getting back together with your spouse. There’s still hope. It may not be too late to contact him/her and be honest about your desire to reconcile your marriage. People sometimes do have the capacity to change.

You Are Still in Love With Your Spouse

Last but not least, are you unhappy without your spouse? Do you affectionately think about him/her often? Has your love only gotten stronger?  When you were married, there may have been times where you hated being in the same vicinity as your spouse. Now that you have had some time apart, are actually more miserable without him/her? The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. If you feel this way, you could seek therapy, reflect on these feelings, and possibly let your spouse know how you feel about them.


This article contains general information and opinions from Sheena Burke Williams and is not intended to be a source of legal advice for any purpose. No reader of this article should act or refrain from acting on the basis of information included in this article without seeking legal advice of counsel. Sheena Burke Williams expressly disclaims all liability with respect to actions taken or not taken based on any content in this article.