You don’t have to be strong. You just need to learn how to adapt.

For many years, my mom was my crutches, we were inseparable. This started soon after I graduated from college.

As a result of a car accident when I was in my early childhood, day by day I started to notice that my incorrect use of body mechanics had contributed permanent damage to my legs. I used to be able to walk without an assistant, I used to be able to go shopping and not feeling the pressure rising from my back, but slowly I noticed I was getting weaker and weaker.

My mom became my crutch because I was too proud to use crutches to walk. I felt so shame of my body that I didn’t want to look different when I walk, even though that was already an undeniable fact just from the way I look.

When my book “Perfectly Normal: An Immigrant’s Story of Making It In America” first came out, I realized a big portion in my book was describing the relationship I had with my mom. I remember those nights she came to visit me at the hospital and pulling out a folding bed, slept in between the two hospital beds to be with me on the night before my surgery.

This is a woman of strength. And I remember writing about her strength, her strength was in her refusal to allow those hardships to dictate who she becomes. There is an old Chinese palm-reading myth that says if the lifeline within a woman’s palm splits her palm in half, she is going to live a hard life and that those around her will also face hardships.

When Mom gets mad, you know you are in very, very serious trouble.

Growing up my mom used to tell us her story of how when she was 16 years old, she left home and went away to another city to make a living on her own. She is the eldest in her family but my grandparents didn’t really like her as much as they did with my uncle and aunt. My grandparents always thought Mom is not the brightest and therefore never took their time investing in her future.

Everyone has a super mom. I have super Mom too. My mom is the world’s most courageous, brave, strong, loving mom. What I’ve noticed and learned from my mom is her ability to cope in any type of situation. She never complained, never said “No”, and always finding a way to reinvent many things (some are quite humorous with lots of mischiefs).

What I’ve learned from her in dealing with this pandemic is to live bravely, adapt quickly, and laugh wholeheartedly.

Find a way to laugh through our struggles and tragedy will allow us to think positively and when we can shift our mindset to allow a more positive view in life, we begin to see the opportunities within even though we may not have control of them.

Today, I am a life coach working specifically with negative self-talkers to support them in finding their inner strength and beauty by overcoming fear of judgments. My mom certainly has a big role in shaping the person I am today with her wisdom, strength, and adaptability. She is a positive force in my life.



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