Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Ever felt like binge-watching a show for three hours straight instead of going to bed? But instead of giving in to temptation, you link it to potential stress at work, and therefore, you opt for a healthy option which is to go to bed. Congratulations! You were able to identify your emotions, understand them, and react to them appropriately. This whole ordeal is known as emotional intelligence (EQ), the ability to manage your emotions effectively.

Your IQ will land you into a good college or a job but your EQ will prevent stress and keep your emotions in check. Emotional intelligence plays a key role in forming bonds and keeping conflict away from relationships.

Signs that your partner lacks EQ

If your partner:

  • lacks self-control
  • is aggressive and impulsive with their feelings
  • lacks empathy
  • is unable to understand or communicate their emotions

Then these signs show that they have a low EQ.

What to do when your partner lacks EQ

Being with someone who lacks emotional intelligence can be a big challenge. However, following the steps below can help you in dealing with a partner, who isn’t well versed with their emotions.

  1. Communication is the key. It sounds like a cliche but it is the truth. If your partner lacks emotional intelligence then chances are that they are unable to understand your feelings. Therefore, it is better to spill your emotions, communicate clearly and patiently. This will encourage the other person to do the same.
  2. Create a safe place. Look, your partner is probably scared of being misunderstood or taken lightly. People with low EQ tend to keep their walls up. It comes from a place of security and self-protection. You need to set an example by addressing the situation instead of letting it build up. Building a safe place will encourage your partner to turn to you when they need help.
  3. Listen to them without interruption. Listen to them as if they are a painting and every detail needs attention. This will encourage your partner to break out of their shell and communicate with you. Make them feel heard and they will feel much more closer to you.
  4. It should be “us versus the problem” instead of “one vs one”. You are going to address the situation as a team. This will enable your partner to feel less defensive and get to the root of the problem.
  5. If your partner is reacting defensively to constructive criticism then be patient but persistent. Voice your opinion in a deep shade of concern. After all, you need to let them feel that you are not against them.

At the end of the day, be careful! Seriously, there’s a difference between helping your partner to grow, and putting in work together for the relationship to grow and prosper, and walking on eggshells around your significant other. A normal relationship does require effort from both sides, and a toxic one will drain you and prevent you from growing.  Watch out for the toxic traits and stay safe.