woman and child playing the guitar and singing

Oprah once wrote, “Value yourself more.”

And the best way to do so? Take specific action to help yourself feel more valued. 

I know it’s easier said than done. But the alternative – not valuing yourself enough – can lead to burnout; something no one wants for themselves.

Let me explain.

When you don’t take time for yourself each day; when you prioritize others’ well-being over your own, you’re not valuing yourself. You often end up not giving your body the attention and care it needs. You feel stressed and overwhelmed. You’re forgetful, and have difficulty focusing on or completing even the simplest tasks.

Plus, with all that stress, you can kiss a good night’s sleep goodbye. 

Overwhelm; stress; poor sleep; forgetfulness; lack of focus; neglect of physical self-care: these are all signs of burnout.

And it can creep up on you almost before you realize what’s happening.

How You Can Devalue Yourself Without Even Realizing It

A few years ago, I had a self-care routine that was working great for me. I was healthy, happy,  nourished and nurtured physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Then little by little, I let the demands of work erode my self-care until I had stopped scheduling “me” time and began to put work ahead of my own needs. I didn’t value myself enough to be my own priority – even though I knew better. 

The slow but steady erosion of caring for myself was all it took for me to go off balance then burn out. Likewise, if you don’t guard your own “me” time, it could easily disappear, putting you on the path to burnout.

When You Question Your Worthiness

As I mentioned above, there are substantial costs of not valuing yourself. If you’re already dealing with or feeling the costs such as overwhelm, sleeping poorly, and not enjoying yourself, you may never actually create all that you desire. Then you end up wondering, why aren’t I getting what I want?

Well, how can you expect to get all that you’re asking for if on some level, you’re questioning your worthiness? When you don’t value yourself, you continue to hit glass ceilings with income, intimacy, and your overall ability to influence your entire life. 

How Much Do You Value Yourself Right Now?

Here’s a simple, quick exercise you can do as an assessment of how much you currently value yourself. 

First, on a scale of 0-10, rate how much you feel that you value yourself. Valuing yourself includes such activities as eating nourishing food, taking time for a walk in your favorite place, or meditating or other spiritual practice. 

0: Not at all, never

5: Sometimes

10: All the time, always

Know that there is no right or wrong, good or bad answer. This number gives you a baseline  – a snapshot of where you are at this moment. 

Second, take a few minutes to hone in and get specific about where not valuing yourself shows up in your life. In your relationships? Career? Your physical health; food choices; financial health; with your family? 

Acknowledging your current state, without judgment, is the first step to valuing yourself more. 

The good news? You have the power to change your situation!

The Benefits Of Valuing Yourself

Let me lay out the benefits of valuing yourself and how that ties into balance and the deepening of self-love:

Your self-care practice is the demonstration of self-love. Then, the impact your practice has is that as you’re loving yourself, and as you’re valuing yourself, everything around you begins to change.

You begin to feel more relaxed and confident, knowing you’re tending to your most important priorities. You’re more energized, clear, and focused. You feel calmer and more peaceful.

Instead of being a stressed-out insomniac, you sleep like a baby and wake up rested. You’re happy, inspired by, and passionate about your life. 

Best of all, you’re able to create more of what you desire!

For instance, you may actually begin to experience more intimacy with your romantic partner because you’re valuing yourself; that is, you’re being more intimate with yourself, leading you to more intimacy with your partner. 

Because you’re taking time to love yourself, you’re resonating at a higher vibration. You’re more easily able to attract a soulmate (if you’re looking for one); or new clients, business opportunities, and just good things in general. All this is possible when you take the time and make the commitment to value yourself.

Keep reading; there’s more!

How Much Would You Like To Value Yourself?

Remember that scale from the exercise above? 

Now, think about where you would like to be on the same scale in 90 days. How much more would you like to value yourself?

Here it is again:

0: Not at all, never

5: Sometimes

10: All the time, always

I ask you to set this target with a number so you have something to aim for. By setting a target like this along with acknowledging where you are now, you bring “value myself more”  into your conscious, daily awareness. This helps you prioritize your time and commitment to truly create the change you want. 

To start, I recommend setting aside 15 minutes each day for your self-care practice. Put the 15 minutes into your calendar and treat it as sacrosanct. The best way to show yourself and those around you that you are serious about valuing yourself is to honor the 15 minutes of self-care. Be like a fierce mama bear – nobody can take this special sacred time away from you! 

“If you talk about it, it’s a dream. If you envision it, it’s possible. But if you schedule it, it’s real.” – Tony Robbins

To help you, I’ve put together a list of 23 of My Favorite Self-Care Activities That Take Less Than 15 Minutes – simply sign up here to receive it right away. I don’t want you to be stuck in trying to create a self-care practice and delaying your “me” time. I’m here for you!


  • Dr. Whitney Gordon-Mead

    Speaker, Certified Life Coach, Ordained Minister

    Intuit Wisdom, LLC

    About Dr. Whitney Gordon-Mead:   I sold my successful financial planning business and founded Intuit Wisdom so I could help successful, high-achieving women enjoy their success without sacrificing their health, wellbeing, relationships, and dreams.   As an International Speaker, Certified Master Trainer, Certified Accelerated Evolution Coach, Spiritual Counselor, and Ordained Minister, I’ve coached and counseled powerful professional women, business owners, and executives worldwide to experience physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual balance.   Amidst my three+ decades of research and experience, leading up to my doctoral degree in metaphysics, I was able to heal from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, post-traumatic stress disorder, and burnout. As a result, I designed a system for accelerated wellbeing that is rooted in metaphysics. I now use this proven system to empower each client to align with her essential authentic self, master her own wellbeing, and experience greater freedom and fulfillment in all areas of life. From relationships, work, and finances to family, health, and quality of life - there are no limits! What’s unimportant falls away. Magic happens, synchronicity.   Living in South Florida with my husband, Dean (the love of my life), and my cat, Whimsy, allows me to do the things I love, like spending time outdoors, boating, relaxing on the beach, and hiking. I also enjoy concerts and musicals, reading, writing, traveling, and investing.   My dream is a world where every woman says “YES!” to herself. I believe that life is not meant to be endured; it IS meant to be enjoyed!