Have you ever noticed how much the world thrives on drama, trauma, upset and intrigue? Whether it be friends, family members, co-workers or the world at large, people tend to seek out the sensationalism of drama and upset over the space, ease, joy, humor, laughter and play that are possible. I invite you to take a look at this in your own life. What percentage of your day do you spend on drama, trauma and upset? What percentage of your week? Now have a look at ease, lightness, space, laughter and fun. What percentage do you spend there? If you spend more time in the land of drama than in the land of ease and would like to change it, you can! Recognizing what you are currently choosing is the first and biggest step. The hardest part is already done!

If you would like to dive in further, here are my top 3 tips on letting go of drama and embracing ease and joy.

  1. One choice from change

If the lights have been turned on and you see that you are functioning from more drama than you would like, make another choice. It really is that simple. Don’t make another choice from the place of judging you or deciding that you are wrong. Rather, simply choose that even though you may not know what you have to do or how you are going to get there, you will have more ease, joy and possibilities in your life.

2. It’s never from force. It is always from asking questions.

Once you have made the choice, ask questions. Questions open doors. Questions allow you to see things you could not see before. You can ask, “How can I change this?” And, “Universe, please show me a different possibility.”

Not living in drama and trauma is not about judging that you should not be living that way. It is not about forcing yourself to stop through hard work and effort. We don’t change things in our lives because we try to force a change. We don’t change things because we are judging ourselves harshly. Change begins with a gentle request and a choice. Those are the only two things required to set you off to a different direction and a different future.

3. Would you rather be right? Or would you rather be free?

When you are upset with a friend or family member, most of the time it is because you are committed to being right and that keeps you from the space and the ease that is possible. Would you rather be right? Or would you rather be free?

When you make the choice to let go of having to be right your world changes and so does the world. This whole world is based on the judgment of right and wrong, good and bad. People walk around judging everyone, including themselves, according to how right or wrong they have decided everything is. When you have the courage and the vulnerability to let go of believing that you and your points of view are right, you open a space for all of us to expand the playground of our lives into something greater than we have ever imagined. Some will choose it. Others will not. There is more ease for them if they do. They are not wrong if they do not.

4. Relax

My partner and I were in Vienna during a terrorist attack. It occurred in the vicinity where we were and we heard the shooting. We asked some people what was going on and they calmly gave the information to us. We did not stop our plans for the evening. We went to another part of the city, had a lovely dinner and relaxed. Despite the news reports which spoke of trauma, drama and upset, that was not what occurred at the site of the attack. People did not panic. They stayed calm and continued on. In many ways there was a higher level of gratitude amongst the people. The event caused people to be more appreciative of their loved ones and of the beautiful city.

We often underestimate the gift of calm and relaxation, of not reacting, being and of being different. When you find yourself in a drama situation when you choose these things, you allow and invite others to relax and it is in relaxation where you have a different perspective and are able to find solutions. While drama and trauma can be seductive, reacting, no matter how intense something appears to be, is not helpful. Being present and calm is. Freak out leads to more freak out. Conversely, one person relaxing creates a different space for all of us.

Drama is not your only choice. There are many other options available to you. When you are around others who are choosing drama, question everything. Be who you are and know what you know. Don’t be a follower of insanity. Be the leader of possibilities. That is the gift you are to the planet and the future.

Susanna Mittermaier is a proponent of the You Are Not Alone Campaign from Access Consciousness. During September and October, Access Consciousness invites you to join the You Are Not Alone global campaign. Experience complimentary sessions of the Access Consciousness Bars and explore stories of change here.