There are times for all of us where we feel let down and disappointed by others. A parent who didn’t give enough time, a friend who always seems to be the one dictating catch ups, a colleague who took the glory for work you did.
The problem with blaming others, is that we are effectively giving our amazing and unique power away. We create ourselves as the victim that something is happening to. Our internal dialogue tells us that we are helpless to change it. And more often than not we don’t even challenge this made up story in our head. We just let it repeat and repeat until we feel like we have no ability to control our circumstances. And we would be wrong.
Each and everyone of us has the ability to create a life that we actively participate and thrive in.
Blame is a nasty little habit that we all need to get rid of. The first step is to actually acknowledge and identify when it’s creeping in. When was the last time you blamed someone for something? Who was it? What had they done? And how easy was it to blame them? I bet it took no effort at all to find a culprit for your situation. What does take effort is getting real with ourselves and understanding how our actions, thoughts and beliefs also played a part.
Take for instance that friend who seems to dictate catch ups. You blame them for mucking up your weekend which resulted in you sitting around waiting for their phone call to confirm a time. Sure the friend delaying the phone call could be annoying – but can you really blame them for you sitting around waiting. What are some other options? Could you have set the time yourself? Could you have carried on with your day? Every time we find ourselves blaming another person what we really need to acknowledge is “I’m giving my power to…….”
Take back your power – you have the choice!
I’ve said several times, and will probably say several more times, we need to be clear on our values and clear on what we want our future life to look like. We will get what we believe so you’ve got to start believing just how amazing and energising a life you can have. By getting clear on this it makes our decision making so much easier. If you need help getting clear, as you feel so lost you don’t know where to start, take a look at the free resources and inspiration here. (you will need to sign up as a member which is free!) or get in touch with me – I’m here to help!
The blame game also drains us of energy. So why do it in the first place? Well we are all kinda programmed to take the easiest path in life. That path of least resistance. But that path is boring, unfulfilling and will drain the very essence of who you really are. By blaming someone else we don’t need to look at ourselves. We don’t need to acknowledge the part we have played to create the situation. We don’t need to actually think about (and this part scares the shite out of most people!!!) just how powerful we are and how each and everyone of us has the ability to achieve whatever it is we dream.
And it’s not just people we blame. We blame a lack of money. We blame a lack of time. We blame not knowing the right people. We blame the weather. And all this blames gives us a wee blanket of comfort – something to fall back on that “its not us”. Time to tear that blanket away. It is us. It is our choices. It is our actions. It is our beliefs. It is our habits. And because it is us, we have the power to make the changes.
So let’s all help each other banish this nasty blame habit. Lets become aware of when we are giving our amazing and unique power away. Lets get clear on what success is to us (reminder this definition is different for each of us – don’t get caught up in someone else’s definition of success). Lets own our power. Lets make conscious decisions that support us each and everyday take steps, however small, to create a life that we actively participate and thrive in.
Own it, create it, have fun