This is the number one question I get asked by my clients.

To which I reply: When was the last time you upgraded? Yourself that is, not your device since 95% of your hardware was installed in the first 7 years of your life.

This is often followed by a moment of silence.

The reason change is so hard is because we’re running on programming that we didn’t consciously choose. It’s true as adults, we’re on autopilot, running on subconscious programming. Yes, we’re in the present, but our minds and our beliefs are in the past. Which means by default we are reacting from our 7-year-old self. ⁣⁣⁣⁣

The theta brain state is where ‘reality’ is created – 0-7 years old. This is a state for quick learning where we figure out how to ‘be’ in the world. This is where we learn to love, how to BE loved, morals, ethics, beliefs, right, wrong etc .. and all of these are chosen for us.⁣⁣

Almost every single belief you hold came from this time period. Including your identity today so if you’re having a hard time changing, read on. 

So from 0-7, we’re in a hypnotic state ( theta ) which is where our creativity is alive and our imagination real. Remember riding “your horse” aka broom around the house? Remember how you had tea parties and were drinking and describing how the tea tasted when there was nothing in your little teacup? or how you entertained yourself with endless hours of conversation with Barbie & Ken? or was that just me? Theta.

See we got “downloads” of how to be in the world from the age of 0-7. How to be a part of a family, society. What’s acceptable and not acceptable. How people talk and treat each other. We were taught what will get us love and what will cause us to have love taken away. The downloads essentially provide the computer with “character.” So a computer with no operating system ( downloads ) is useless, right? 

Your brain is that computer. To be useful, programs must be downloaded. So the first 7 years you were creating that database which you run off of today unless you consciously upgraded.

In comparing the brain to a computer, the hard drive is the subconscious mind in that both require downloaded programs to carry out their functions. The conscious mind is the keyboard; this where you can introduce data and ideas into the system. The subconscious “hard drive” possesses read-only programs, while the conscious mind, can introduce new information through the keyboard that provides the system with a read-write capacity.

When we operate from the conscious mind, we are creators of our lives. ( Theta ) However, when we operate through the subconscious mind, our lives are shaped by the downloaded programs we acquired in the first seven years of our lives. Science states that we only use the creative conscious mind about 5% of the day. So now you’re no longer in the theta brain state so every time you’re not present/conscious which is 95% of the time, you’re running a pattern from the past. Autopilot.

When you come up against pain or things that aren’t working for you, you naturally want to make a change. But the subconscious/ego HATES change. It feels threatened and its job is to keep you safe, so it will always show you the logical route or the familiar. It likes the wake-up, make your bed, brush your teeth, have coffee, go to work, home, TV.⁣⁣ Repeat.

See the brain keeps you safe, not happy. You gotta work for happy. ⁣⁣That’s why when you’re trying to change a pattern you experience mental resistance. The subconscious beliefs take over and those “stories” become your truth because you’ve never separated yourself from them.⁣⁣

We think it’s too hard, quit and then shame and self-loathing and self-betrayal set in. Enter your pattern on repeat. While your conscious mind wants to change, the subconscious mind feels threatened. This is why we don’t things as they are, we see things are WE are.⁣⁣

This insight is profound and will help you understand yourself better because it reveals that most are not creating the lives they desire but are unconsciously (through the subconscious mind) manifesting lives that are consistent with the beliefs that were downloaded in childhood. Since up to 70% of the downloaded beliefs acquired before age 7 are disempowering, self-sabotaging, or limiting, we experience stress from the programs that contradict our conscious mind’s wishes, desires and dreams. There is no thinking in these subconscious behaviours, it’s more like push the button, play the program.

So, in essence, we are running life from a child’s perspective. Explains a lot amiright?

Almost every single belief you hold came from this time period. Including your identity today, who you “think” you are, or who you “think” you need to be and while we live in an age where we’ve never had MORE access to information, things, knowledge, courses, choices, where we’re free to think, do and BE as we please, many of us are still walking around emotionally imprisoned by their own thoughts and limiting beliefs.

I want to invite you to escape those thoughts and break free.

For years we’re taught that the brain is set. Programmed at birth, nothing we can do about it, we need to “Accept” and play the hand we’re dealt. This is simply not true and neuroplasticity and the science of the mind is prooving that we can alter our brains based on lifestyle, emotion, patterning and habits. We can literally re-wire the brain through intention. I’ve done it, more on that in another article but the point is that life is actually pretty simple, it’s our human minds that complicate it.

We follow rules and identities that we haven’t even consciously chosen and we shame and guilt ourselves and then blame others when they trigger us because it’s too painful to see the truth. We become these identities so we can feel seen, heard, loved, worthy. We stay in relationships that drain us because we haven’t been taught self-worth. And maybe most damaging of all is that we take on the responsibility for other people’s healing and emotions when we can’t even face our own. 

See its all habits. It’s all conditional patterning. What’s wrong is ALWAYS available, but so is what’s right. 

So I want to invite you to train your mind to see the good in everything. If you keep living the same life, day in and day out and are calling it a life hoping one day everything will change, without YOU yourself changing, I say this lovingly, it’s not gonna happen and you’re going to keep getting the same results. If something in life isn’t working, it’s because of the WAY you’re showing up for it. Drop-in and ask: How am I responsible for what is happening? How did I co-create this? 97% of us live in a victim mentality that life is always happening TO us instead of FOR us. What if you flipped that script? What if you realized that there’s nothing wrong with you, you don’t need to “fix” anything because you aren’t broken? What if you realized you’re just heavily programmed and are acting from your subconscious mind as opposed to the conscious? How would that thinking change your life?

It’s time to stop accepting your thoughts as the soundtrack to your life. Practice observing. Practice being present and practice through repetition and through the creation of “habits,” that actually serve you. Become aware of your thoughts, triggers, beliefs and stay present with them. This process is painful and it’s why most never have lasting change. ⁣⁣

We have to unlearn before we relearn, we have to break the habit of old before we can create new. We are not victims of anything other than the programs we are operating from. Change the programs you are operating from, change your life!

This IS the fight of your life, but my hallucination says you’re worth it.

I hope this little download blows your system and forces a reboot!

Love & Awareness



  • Amanda O'Reilly

    NLP, Mindset + Life Strategist

    Amanda O'Reilly is known as the Worthiness Whisperer. She's an NLP Practitioner/Empowerment Coach and Lifestyle Entrepreneur. She helps people struggling with self-love, self-worth, and feeling not enough to develop self-confidence and healthy boundaries in life. Amanda is also the creator of #worthywands an empowerment line of jewelry for women.