Why is it difficult to forgive

We carry a lot of frustration, resentment, and considerable negative emotions without paying them much due attention. And as they continue piling up, it grows heavier and unbearable by the day. In truth, we’ve devoted plenty of our time to these emotions, hence it has become difficult for our mind to let them go easily. Out of those emotions, the ones we hold dearly are for our parents, spouses, or even friends. Why is it difficult to forgive them?

Why is it difficult to forgive our loved ones?

A question you may have asked yourself ‘n’ number of times. These negative questions merely end up depressing you more, if not causing you to feel any less guilty. It’s a negative loop and growing out of it by yourself is nearly as difficult as making through a perfect day. But obviously, it’s not impossible.

The key is self-awareness.

You can further read–3 ways to build a healthy relationship with your mind for strengthening your self-awareness.

When we are self-aware, we can differentiate between the little voice in our head and our voice. And when we develop this skill further, we can easily let the negative thoughts off the hook, making you mentally lighter. Here is some food for thought to help you enjoy the time with your loved ones.

1. Your parents, spouses, or friends are as human as any stranger on the planet. Why is it difficult to forgive

Believe me or not, we have high expectations from our family and loved ones. We don’t expect them to be just perfect in their parenting, caring, and love they shower us with; rather we wish them to be no lesser than the divine.

We can easily cut down on the expectations by seeing our loved ones not just as our godfathers/mothers but as ordinary human beings. We wouldn’t get as much hurt if someone not close says something unreasonable (provided we have enough self-awareness and believes in conserving our energy).

2. Ask yourself: are you a good son/daughter, partner, or a friend?

Sometimes we expect the world from the people, if not the universe; and we don’t even have pebbles to offer. With such unrealistic expectations, the other person would likely to back out slowly.

Only if we could look at ourselves from their shoes; it would be simpler to see their point of view. So next time, when you are pointing fingers at others, ask yourself, are you fulfilling your obligations towards them?

3. Remind yourself of the good times with your loved ones and be grateful.

Our loved ones’ may not be as genuine as we want them to be, but isn’t there much to be grateful for?

Even if it is difficult for you to see their positive side, they must have helped you at some point of time in life. Imagine if they wouldn’t have been there for you during that time, days would have passed rather slowly. Reminding yourself of those moments makes you feel grateful for their presence in life.

You can further read – How gratitude helps us feel complete – A thought experiment.

Relationships are sacred, be it with our loved ones or with ourselves; just remind yourself to be gentle at all times.

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash