Have you ever felt how easy it is to give up compared to actually pushing through? Why is there a considerable difference between the two? No matter how old you are, and regardless of how simple or complicated it is that you’re going through, there is a constant thought nagging you. What if I just let it go? What if this isn’t really for me?
It is easier to give in and stop the battle. But if you think about it, what’s the point of surviving all the other struggles if you quit now. Below are the three things that you should stop practicing:
You’re Too Focused on the Results
How many times have you ignored the quote, “it’s not about the destination, it’s the journey.” Most of us are too focused on the possible outcome that we didn’t see the things we’ll also get just by working towards it. We may not be completely aware of them yet, but there are numerous skills that we oversee. Regardless of the outcome, you’ll always get the lessons.
It’s so easy to fantasize about something, but in the end, we do not even exert any effort to reach it. We want to get this that or become this and that, but we are neglecting taking any step to achieve them. We might try at first, but once things are starting to get difficult, we’ll just drop the idea altogether. You know what you want, but you are not appreciating and noticing the things that you’ll get on the way towards it.
Oftentimes, this failure to continue happens when we are in love with something grand. For example, I want to become a fantastic filmmaker, so I fill my NAS hard drive with the movies that inspire me. But am I also as in love with the thought of studying and possibly failing in cinema schools? No. So I just sit in my room, fantasizing about that dream, but too unmotivated to exert the work for it.
Failure happens when you already assume that you failed, so you stopped in the path altogether. The opposite of failure, which is success, requires a driving force for you to get it. Difficulties can and will happen so often that you might believe the negative thought in your head not to push through. And while it sounds like something worthy of an eye roll, know that you’re getting lessons and not mistakes.
It is about time to start treating failure as a characteristic. Otherwise, you are throwing away the opportunity to use the lesson to your advantage next time. If you think about it, some circumstances need to happen so that you’ll change. And you need this discomfort so you’ll grow into a version of yourself that’s required for the next step in reaching your goals.
You have to be strong enough to hold onto your goal long enough until it comes true. And it takes a lot of willpower to do so. You will go through multiple hardships, and even so, it might be a disguise to redirect you to a path that’s better for you in the future.
You Can’t Let Go of Your Expectations
It’s easier to give up because we’ve pressured ourselves from our expectations. A long time ago, you probably expected yourself to have certain things at a specific age. And while I’m not saying that you should settle for less, you might not be inspiring yourself with that kind of mentality.
Our goals and aspirations should motivate us to work harder and smarter. But if we keep aiming for something unrealistic at the moment, we’ll get discouraged because it feels like everything is against us. At the same time, you have to be okay with the idea of letting go and changing your expectations as you go through life. You might know exactly what the outcome should be, but you have to be flexible.
Change is inevitable, and resisting it is just delaying pain. It may sound harsh, but just like anything in life, you have to know how to evolve and adjust. Think of yourself as a growing plant, and you’ll eventually need to transfer into a larger vessel.
However, you also have to believe in yourself enough. And doing the opposite will inevitably lead to you abandoning your goals or not even trying at all. If you believe in yourself that a change is needed, you’ll be more accepting of letting go of your expectations.
I do believe that perseverance, a strong identity of self, and beliefs are way better than just having talents. Maybe you have an expectation that you’ll be a world-renowned writer because you have the ability. But if you are doubtful of yourself and all you’re aiming for is an unrealistic result, you have nothing to hold onto to keep yourself standing.
You Fear and Despise Judgment
To complete the trifecta, it will be easier for you to give up something if you are keen on avoiding judgments. It can be from yourself or other people, but regardless, you have to practice not caring too much.
You’ll end up sabotaging yourself if you fear rejection. This is because you’re not giving yourself any chance to prove that they’re wrong. So for you, the easier thing to do is just to let your goal go.
What’s ironic here is that sometimes, we aren’t even getting judged or rejected. We are just assuming the negatives beforehand. It’s like seeing a non-existing failure.