Have you ever gotten really fired up about starting something new, and then before you know it, you’re stuck?
Suddenly that thing that was really exciting and important feels like a ball and chain.
That’s the thing they call resistance.
We’ve all experienced it. I’ve read books about it (Steven Pressfield has some great books on the subject), but that hasn’t stopped me getting wrapped up in its heavy embrace. I’ve been stuck in it for weeks since I set a goal to make a weekly blog post and launch my website Burnout Boy.
It’s now nearly 2 months since my last post and my ego wants to go to town on me. Another reason for that nagging voice in my head to tell me I’m no good.
The ego wants attention and approval from anyone and everyone. But the only thing it wants more than universal praise and validation is the safety of anonymity.
When I put something out into the world and I receive positive feedback my ego wants to make it about me. Aren’t I clever! People like me! But there’s always a risk that people won’t like what I put out and that scares the crap out of Mr Ego. So he tells me nobody wants to hear what I have to say. Or he tells me to wait until each piece is perfect (ie. never).
When you allow the opinion of others to define your value as a person you will always be at the mercy of forces beyond your control.
And that’s what has really been getting me stuck. I am withdrawing my engagement with the world to protect my ego.
I want to look good, so I set an ever higher bar for myself. I start to agonize over details and question the relevance of what I’m saying.
But this is me entirely missing the point of what I am setting out to do.
The stagnation I am experiencing is a result of making it about me, and the fear of rejection that comes with it. But my true motivation comes from wanting to connect with people like me and the possibility of helping someone else who might be stuck, or lost like I have been.
I don’t have to be a great writer to do that, I just have to engage.
I want to bring a human voice to all this business (and busyness) talk. And unfortunately for my human voice is imperfect.
So by sitting on my imperfect musings and withholding my thoughts from the world, I choose the safety of a self-imposed exile from life.
And, that is exactly why this is not the time to berate myself for giving in to fear and doubt.
This is the time to show compassion to myself; to accept and embrace my imperfection. And as I release the judgement and self imposed pressure, something starts to shift. Suddenly I have a little more room to express myself again.
With a small shift in perspective our weakness become a gift.
We are fragile, sensitive, and loving beings. These qualities are the essence of our experience on this planet. By hiding our flaws and imperfections we are denying ourselves the opportunity of a life fully lived.
Imperfection is what makes us human and it is also what makes us great. That’s why we add analog filters to our digital photographs. Today we have machines that can do almost any job perfectly. But they cannot do feelings. And in my opinion, feeling is everything .
I want to tell you that your weaknesses are your greatest assets. They hold the key to truly knowing yourself and to connecting with others in a way that has more value that you know.
What if, instead of hiding your flaw, you started to explore it with curiosity and compassion?
What if that supposed weakness contains a great treasure that only you can unlock and bestow upon the world?
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world.”
– Marianne Williamson