“Who knew being kind—and embracing a little messiness—could be your secret leadership weapon? Turns out, compassion mixed with honesty (and the occasional awkward moment) builds teams that thrive!”
How a leader can mix kindness, directness, and passion to build a resilient team that thrives through all challenges.
What if kindness wasn’t a weakness in leadership but your greatest strength? In my first week as a leader, I discovered just how powerful it could be.
One of my employees faced a devastating loss: their mother passed away. It was a complicated relationship, and their grief spilled into every corner of their work life. It made everything unimaginably challenging—for them and for me. I faced a dilemma. I needed this person, and deadlines were looming. But I also had a decision to make: how was I going to lead?
That moment became my “north star.” I chose kindness.
I gave my employee all the time they needed. I paid for their flights, upgraded them to first class, and told them not to worry about work until they were ready. Financially, I couldn’t really afford any of it. But emotionally, I couldn’t afford not to. That decision set a precedent for how I lead, even now, 25 years later. In every situation, I ask myself:
What is the kind way to handle this?
Here’s the catch: kindness is often misunderstood. Some people assume it means being soft, passive, or ineffective. But let me be clear—I am not a pushover. I have fired people when necessary. I assert myself when it matters. Kindness doesn’t mean compromising your strength or your standards.
Instead, think of kindness as a well-balanced recipe. It blends honesty, strength, vision, and compassion into something that builds trust and fuels collaboration. Relationships thrive when kindness is coupled with clarity and accountability.
When you lead with kindness, you earn trust, loyalty, and resilience. Teams follow leaders who care about them as people, not just as productivity tools. And in the long run, kindness is what makes teams last—through challenges, conflicts, and change.
During times of conflict
One of the biggest misunderstandings about kindness leadership is that people often think I don’t embrace conflict, I do! I get frustrated and even angry. And that is OK! In order to actually achieve kindness you need to be honest and not keep feelings suppressed. So have that conversation. Have that little (or not so little) disagreement and then and only then can you get to know one another, support one another and actually act KIND!
So, the next time you face a leadership dilemma, try this: pause, reflect, and ask yourself, “What is the kind way to handle this?” You might just find that it’s the most powerful leadership tool you’ll ever have.