Dear younger self

Dear Unbridled Self

This letter to you “my younger self” is all about “missing the old days” in every way with only one complaint.

Many people sit down to remember their childhood and figure out the flaws or wish for some corrections. But dear younger self, I don’t belong to that category at all. Whatever I am today is because of the mistakes I did when I was you. Today, I simply want to thank you for creating all those memories of loss, gain, laughter, and cries.
Wish I had the same energy, frivolous attitude, & simple mind to lead life today! I want to cry like you with open arms and not giving any thought to “where am I?” or “Who all are watching me cry?” I also want to burst out laughing my heart out but all I could gather is a smirk or slight bend of the lips. Actually, some new words like “protocol” and “decorum” have been invented and that have taken a toll on me!

You remember that day when you got drenched in rain instead of joining the art class. All of you, the “three musketeers” were punished in front of the teachers’ room. Right at that moment, I know you felt 10% bad about that. But do you know, perhaps that was the last time when I actually enjoyed getting drenched in rain willingly? After that, I probably never got the chance to go out in the rain or was careful to carry an umbrella as there were too many exams to finally “grow up”. And now I will catch a cold faster and therefore, can only shut my eyes to experience that rainy day.
I thank you for that experience, for being carefree, for being frisky, and for being “just you”.

I am so happy that when you were my present, the time was different and that’s why you could retain your simplicity. The joy & happiness always resided in simple things.

You remember how you spent all the mornings during the summer breaks only thinking about the ice-cream after lunch. You waited for grandpa to take you out every evening to the nearby parks, ponds, & rivers and listened to his stories, and then watched the gleaming stars in a clear sky at night!

I do enjoy ice-creams but nowhere do I get the same taste like childhood. The nearby parks are mostly scanty and the urban sky seldom prepares the playground for the stars.

You know as the days are moving ahead in life, I miss you more. Sometimes, I feel that I lost you in a race and sometimes, you just peek from the corridor of the heart. The one complaint that I have (mentioned at the staring of the letter) is that why do you stay dormant sometimes? I know it is quite difficult to stay together as there are too many questions to be answered to too many people just to live like that? But please come back to me once in a while and make me feel alive in a true sense.

Sometimes, I see you in my dreams and I know that is a signal of you calling me. I promise to slow down a bit and one fine day, once I am done with the battles, we will meet and sit opening the balcony of our hearts to sing our favorite song together at the top of our voice!

Take Good Care,
Your Mature Self

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  • A Dreamer, Traveler, Table Tennis enthusiast, & a Dancer, Bhawna Deopa belongs to the majestic Uttarakhand who currently resides in New Delhi to pursue her dreams. She voraciously follows fashion and lifestyle bloggers and works with a leading e-commerce platform. Watching movies helps her unwind her mind and she simply loves to pen down her thoughts & share it with the world through her write-ups.