You Might Be Setting Up Yourself for Failure

Are you familiar with the term “breaking the habit?” Whether we like it or not, our habits are what define us. Therefore, we have to choose wisely on what habits we should continue to practice and which should we let go of. If we can’t distinguish the two properly, we will struggle to improve ourselves because instead of moving forward, we’re going backward.

Self-improvement is a lifelong process. It doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s a practice that we have to do every single day. And one of the practices that I think we should prioritize is recognizing and letting go of habits that are actually set up to fail instead of succeeding. I came up with four, and I think you can relate to them as well. 

Habit # 1: You Believe That The Universe Will Magically Grant Your Wishes, If Not, They Must Be Impossible

It’s healthy to believe that everything will happen for a reason. However, we also have to be realistic. Sometimes, there will be no easy way or solution for the circumstances we’re facing in life. We end up sitting around, waiting for the universe to magically give us what we need instead of discussing what we should change. 

Instead of solving a problem, we just wait for the circumstances to magically align and make life more comfortable for us. While this can happen and is a nice belief never to lose hope, if the universe didn’t end up resolving our problem, we just end up giving up. You would never find out that you are just as capable of doing the “magic.”

We end up complaining too much and hating the world because we feel like it’s purposely taunting us with problems. Believe me when I say that most of the time, the things that happen to us aren’t really targeting us. However, you have to deal with them in order to truly live and grow as a person.

Instead of complaining and thinking that there’s no end to your dilemmas, hack your mind instead. What I mean by this is that you should create a prophecy. Act as if you already succeeded and that you “got this.” You’re not wearing rose-colored sunglasses, you’re just speaking the truth. 

You can always continue to improve every aspect of your life. Just because what you want isn’t handed to you like in other people, it means that they are impossible. It might seem like it’s unfair that other people got a lead, but you’ll feel more fulfilled knowing that you have worked in achieving the things you like yourself. 

Habit # 2: As Long as You’re Busy, You’re Doing Good

I am one of those people who feel like their day is incomplete if they failed to do something productive. Even if it’s my day-off, I make sure that I should at least do something besides rest and leisure. But what I don’t know is that glorifying overworking is doing more damage instead of good. 

It’s okay to be productive, but it’s another thing to over-exhaust yourself. I don’t blame you, though, because it feels like the day is wasted if you just spend it taking a rest or having fun. There is always that guilt, and you feel like you’re leaving your responsibilities. 

We can’t help but get overwhelmed, especially if we underestimated the amount of effort a responsibility requires. If you’re the type who accepts every single opportunity, you are prone to get drained. You just can’t help but think that if one is successful, then he/she should always be busy. This belief is also another thing that is setting you up to fail.

When you always bury yourself in tasks and responsibilities, you’ll lose your passion and drive to something that you once loved. If it starts feeling like a job, it will be impossible to find enjoyment in it. And in the long run, you’ll have no reason to push through and perform your best because you’ve been used to being in auto-pilot. Say hello to burnout

If you still can’t bear the thought of not being busy like me, I discovered a way on how to use it to your advantage. You have to stick to a structure on how you can manage potential stress. This means having a consistent sleep schedule, clean eating, and even a dedicated time to just rest. If you have a pattern, you’ll feel less anxious that you’re just wasting time and not improving yourself. 

Some personal time is just as valuable as productive time. The other day, I found out about this useful article on how to make reading in bed easier using book lights. Since I don’t like the idea of going to sleep “unproductively” on the weekends, I make it a point to read something. It doesn’t have to be about a complicated topic. In fact, I was reading novels. The point is, you can be busy with things that will keep you happy and refreshed. 

Habit # 3: You Always Dream Big

I know you might be raising your eyebrows at this habit because everyone needs an idea of what they want to achieve in life in order to succeed. However, some people end up focusing on big long-term goals instead of making sure they will work towards their short-term goals. These small goals are often overlooked because we think they are easy to achieve anyway. And in the process, you’ll be further towards your big dreams because you fail to pursue smaller dreams.

For one, you might get discouraged and won’t have the same drive to work towards your big dreams. And before you know it, you’re making another big dream again without going through more realistic and achievable ones. You are actually subconsciously preventing yourself from succeeding. 

Habit # 4: You Don’t Think That Words Have Impact

While I don’t believe in magic, I do believe in the power of speaking things into existence. Nowadays, it is our defense mechanism to think of ourselves lowly so that the impact of the criticism we’ll receive wouldn’t be as heavy. However, self-deprecation is powerful, and it can affect us negatively.

It may take some time getting used to it, but try to be gentler with how you talk to yourself. Instead of telling yourself that you’re not going to be able to succeed in a task, claim that you have already succeeded. The things that we say to ourselves are what we believe and what we become.