I’m 36 and I just got engaged. This is something I had started to believe wasn’t going to happen for me a few years ago. You see, 5 years ago I ended a 5 year relationship and he was posting on social media 3 weeks later (with a girl we knew) and was engaged 3 months later. My best friend committed suicide that same week.
At 32, I decided to freeze my eggs because I realized I didn’t want to marry the first suitor who came around simply because they’d get me back on that timeline (albeit later than most tell us is okay) that society places on women. My career was thriving, I had just moved to New York City, but almost anytime I caught up with someone they’d ask how my love life was going. The societal pressure to “settle down” or be more cognizant of my “biological clock” was daunting.
Comparison is the thief of joy. And, social media does a really good job of spotlighting only the parts we want to make visible. The best day of my whole life happened this summer and I wanna scream about it off every rooftop, not to brag, but because I’ve been right where someone you know, or you yourself, might be right now. You know when good things seem to be happening to everyone else but you? When your heart is broken and you feel lonely because maybe you’re grieving a death or relationship, didn’t get that job, struggling with anxiety or depression, thought you’d never find (or even experience) love (ever or again), feel slighted for a promotion, felt rejected by someone or some thing, have wanted something so bad that never seems to arrive, etc, etc. I mean the list goes on, and it’s long because life can be really tough. And, sometimes it’s really tough for a really long time.
If you know me at all, you know the last 5 years have been a rollercoaster of highs and lows + a hike full of peaks and valleys. Yes, I’ve had some of the best moments of my life these past few years, but also some of the very worst. But, it’s all come full circle + while I’m sure there will be many more challenges ahead in life, I am overwhelmed with joy knowing that the universe brought me my perfect match to face it all with me.
In December of 2020, I decided to sit down (on a full moon, if that detail interests you) and write down exactly what I wanted in a partner, since this is something I had realized I wanted to invite into my life. I finally realized that it’s perfectly ok to want something and it’s totally fine if you want nothing to do with something society tells you that you “should” want. I was ready for love and partnership. Two weeks later, I met my now fiancé, Brian Jensen.
Ask the universe what you want and believe that it is on it’s way to you when you’re ready for it.
My hope is that sharing my current joy with you will make you feel hope that those things that sometimes feel impossible are actually within reach and maybe even closer than you think. Good things do happen. Seasons change. Hearts heal. Grief evolves (and while it doesn’t always go away, there are opportunities for your wounds to turn into wisdom). It really does get better when you hold on + refuse to give up.
What’s for you will never ever miss you…and, believe me, the stuff that does miss you was never ever ever meant for you because something else is ahead.