3 ways to build a healthy relationship

Relationships are sacred; the higher you invest in it, the higher it grows, and the less you water, the more it frowns. Investment in a relationship starts with awareness and continuous deliberate efforts; be it with an individual, a living being like your pet, or with your mind.

Relation with your ‘mind’ defines your relationship with the outer world. Only when you have a broad awareness of your thought process and emotions, the more likely you will build a stable relationship with the outer world.

1- Listen to your mind without judgment

Your mind likes to talk and usually enjoys a good listener. However, the question stems when the other individual is a talker too. There is no issue in having a healthy conversation as long as it is contemplative (another post for later). But when the discussions low down to non-productive blabbers, you both would prefer to dodge each other’s company at any cost. It would be like getting stuck in an elevator with your grumpy boss during a power outage.

How to listen without judgment, you may ask? To non-judge, a situation or a thought involves significant efforts and self- awareness. There are multiple ways to build the same:

a) Mindful Guided meditation :

Guided meditation allows you to have control over your mind. While you develop the same, you begin to differentiate between your voice and your mind’s voice. And that’s where the magic happens.

Routinely practicing mindful guided meditation leads to spasm of thoughtless moments. Although it is overwhelming at first, however, soon you would end up enjoying your company more than others.

b) Mindful living

It takes time to build a mindful living. But once you get a grip on it, it can be addicting. As your mind drifts every time you wallow in an act, remind yourself to return to this absolute moment. Ask yourself -what am I doing right now? This query interests your mind and returns your awareness to that very moment, letting you have control.

c) Just Breathe

Every time your mind strays, remind yourself to return your awareness to your breathing. It takes you back to that eminent moment. Conscious breathing can perform wonders to your state of mind.

2) Reason with your mind

Your mind loves to wander, provoking you, or cause you to feel rather low at times with no particular grudges of its own. Honestly, the mind doesn’t want to upset you, but it just doesn’t know how to help you either. It accomplishes what it can best without training; computing and processing of information perceived through your senses. Since training can be a slow process, a quick fix would be to reason with your mind. Mind’s talent in comprehending its reasoning will surprise you.

Whenever held with a thought or an emotion you don’t wish to dwell on, choose the below measures:

1) Find a personal space

Find a space where you can find yourself at peace for a few minutes. It could be a small corner in a room, or a dressing room, or even your car. Just remember to be by yourself for some while.

2) Let your thoughts settle down

After locating a comfortable space, take some time to focus on your breathing. This will allow the restless and wandering thoughts to settle down soon.

3) Reason

As the thoughts settle down, ask your mind:

i) Is there a thought or past event bothering me?

ii) Where did that thought/concern appeared from?

iii) Realize that you weren’t at fault (if you feel guilty) or forgive (if someone else was at fault). Forgiveness is sometimes difficult, but it is internally satisfying and soothing.

4) Accept

Accept that it is only human to make mistakes. Acceptance elevates your awareness and unfolds peace that is only a natural phenomenon to you.

3) Be gentle with your mind

Sometimes we are rather harsh on ourselves; we pick up anger, bully ourselves, and get entertained in self-pity thoughts. And not so strangely, we merely end up punishing ourselves, distancing us further from the peace we wish to have in our lives. 

Think of your mind as your child. You would ideally like to bring him up with the right values and fair principles. You would require to be firm occasionally, but still want to be gentle at other times. In brief, it is the acceptance of yourself that would light up up your relationship with your mind.

Practicing all four ways can enhance and elevate your life to a newer perspective. The old ones will eventually drop while the new ones will blossom like the flowers you would want to keep in your garden. You can further read: How to know your true ‘Self’ – a short experiment on my blog to deepen your self-discovery journey.

Do share your thoughts and views in the comment section. I would love to know how I can boost more value in my posts for my readers.

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash