Thriving Survivor

5 shifts you can start doing right now on your journey from being the victim to a thriving survivor.
Over the years, the focus of my practice emerged to helping women who have experienced some kind of trauma to transforming their lives. I understand this all too intimately. As a Reverend Doctor, Licensed Massage Therapist and Healer, these women find me on their healing journey.

First – Get back your Self – create a self care routine as a priority.
Make a list of 3-5 things you must do for yourself everyday, no questions asked.
Some of the things I’ve done for myself, which have become daily habits are; yoga/stretches, 30 daily push-ups, supplements, meditate, breath work, practice kindness, especially to my partner, even after 34 years together, remembering not to take each other for granted does wonders.
In the spring of 2016 for about 6 months, a friend and I decided to do a fitness challenge. We picked 2 exercises we would do for 30 days and committed to checking in with each other for six months in a row. Once we had completed the challenge, we would send each other a text. I picked push-ups as one of my choices every month and I’ve been doing them daily ever since.

When life starts to draw me in too many directions and I begin to find myself becoming ‘triggered’, I come back to my self care routine. Sure enough, I started to not take care of myself during those life storms. Take inventory of your own life.
Do you choose? Or does life choose for you? Treat your self care routine like your medicine and watch healing happen.

Second. Get help. You are not alone. Whether it’s your Pastor, Doctor, Women’s Circle, or Therapist, does not matter, get help. If you think you don’t need help, don’t listen to the Ego, it will lay on the guilt and shame of even thinking of needing help, keeping you in the closed circuit of victimhood. Help is available once you’re open to it. Support and acceptance are basic human needs.

Third. Learn who you are. Or better yet, re-invent yourself. Make a list of qualities you want to add to your own character and be that. The story I tell myself is, “I went to hell and came back Wonder Woman”. I began to take on her qualities. After my world broke into pieces, the pieces were no longer recognized, so I put myself back together the way I wanted. What qualities do you want to develop within yourself? This is the journey of personal and spiritual development.

Fourth. Find Your Tribe. Find those who get you, and let go of those who no longer resonate with you. If someone is not treating you the way you want to be treated, you have every right to say no, and to not accept it into your life. Be kind, but don’t give your precious energy to anything that doesn’t support and accept you. Your tribe will do just that. When you are supported and accepted, you create more space for support and acceptance.

Fifth. Boundaries – Develop and create strategies for staying on your aim and keeping focused on what’s important for you. Your focus, attention and awareness are your most precious gifts.
Learn tools to help measure where you are and create shifts to where you want to be. Learn to recognize when you’re being manipulated. Everything in your outside experience will show you your boundaries.
I’ve created a free training on how you can discover your boundaries by getting focused and defining your aim.

You are your own hero. Be the thriving survivor, it must start with you.