It is not easy for everyone to adapt to difficult life situations and even more to cope with real grief. In this article, let’s talk about how to get over the death of a loved one and help others cope.
Embrace Your Pain
The first thing to understand is that you don’t have to fight your pain and try to banish it from your life. It is absolutely normal to feel pain, even if it is intense, and, in fact, it is important to do so, because it is our way of adapting to life’s new circumstances. It is also worth reconciling ourselves to the fact that the pain will probably never completely go away, and on important dates – the birthday of the deceased or the anniversary of the death – it will come back. You need to remember this and not be surprised by your feelings.
Listen to yourself
Each person is different, which means that everyone experiences death in their own way. There can be no general rules. Some people need a long period of adjustment after the death of a loved one, while others, on the contrary, will try to get into the rhythm of normal life as soon as possible. Either option is normal, you should not pay attention to the opinion of society, which always “knows what is better”. Think about what will help you get through the death of a loved one, and do it.
Seek answers to difficult questions
The loss of a loved one poses the most important question for a person: what awaits us all after death? And it makes sense. Do not turn away from the search for answers – often grief becomes an important stage in the personal development of a person. Some will find answers in religious literature, others in scientific or philosophical literature. Either way, simply turning a blind eye to the problem is unlikely to work.
Talk about what happened
Not all people are ready to discuss the death of a loved one, but most of us sooner or later need to speak out. It is very important that you have someone to do it with, and there is a rule to remember: if the other party even tries to devalue your grief, run away from that person. They certainly can not help you, only harm. If you can not find a suitable person to talk to, talk to a psychologist. An experienced specialist not only listens to everything but also gives advice that will help in your situation.
“Let go” of the deceased
Speaking of psychologists: often experts advise to mentally “let go” of the deceased. The thing is that death – even death from old age – always happens suddenly, it is almost impossible to prepare for it. It seems that you have not finished everything you had planned with your deceased loved one, you have not told them everything you wanted, you have not given them the necessary amount of warmth and understanding. Such feelings and emotions can be a heavy burden that will prevent you from coping with grief. Therefore, it is worth mentally saying goodbye to the person – to forgive them for their insults, to thank them for their good deeds, to resolve contentious issues. Often, to do this, psychologists advise writing a symbolic letter to the deceased, which will help put everything in its place.
Reorganize your life – limit the stress factors
After the death of a loved one, we are weakened and vulnerable, any little thing can knock us out. In order that the process of grief was less painful, it is worth taking care of yourself and trying to create the most comfortable conditions. Exclude communication with not the most pleasant acquaintances, do not do things that you can not stand, ask yourself “should I do my homework by myself this week?”, change your job if you feel the need. All of this will reduce daily stress and save energy for more important things.
When is it worth seeking help from a psychologist?
Yes, everyone experiences the loss of a loved one in their own way, and some have it harder than others. In this matter it is important to listen to yourself: if you feel that you cannot cope with the psychological burden yourself, and even after a few months (or even after a year) the pain of loss is as strong as in the first days, it is better to talk to a psychologist. Prolonged emotional instability after the death of a loved one, physical exhaustion, and increased anxiety are also reasons to consult a specialist. Often such an event reveals psychological problems that have not previously manifested themselves in acute form.
How do you help another person who is experiencing the loss of a loved one?
Given the above, it is worth remembering a few important things. First, do not impose your opinion on how to properly handle grief. The other person is free to do as they want. Secondly, your main task – to make it clear that you are always ready to support them: without persistence and obsession, offer to go somewhere together sometimes, meet in a cafe, talk on the phone. Thirdly, do not strenuously distract people from thinking about the deceased loved one – it’s quite normal if the person wants to discuss what happened and remember their loved one. Often, to do this, psychologists advise writing a symbolic letter to the deceased, which will help put everything in its place.
How do you help another person who is experiencing the loss of a loved one?
Given the above, it is worth remembering a few important things. First, do not impose your opinion on how to properly handle grief. The other person is free to do as he or she wants. Secondly, your main task – to make it clear that you are always ready to support him: without persistence and obsession, offer to go somewhere together sometimes, meet in a cafe, talk on the phone. Thirdly, do not strenuously distract people from thinking about the deceased loved one – it’s quite normal if he wants to discuss what happened and remember your loved one. Finally, if you see that with the passage of time he is sinking more and more into despair and grief, it is worth offering him to see a psychologist: the main thing is to do it gently and without unnecessary pressure. Finally, if you see that with the passage of time the person is sinking more and more into despair and grief, it is worth offering them to see a psychologist: the main thing is to do it gently and without undue pressure.