Most people, after reading this title, feel deep inside themselves a shrill cry saying “It is necessary to be yourself.” This truth pursues us throughout our entire life, but each life comes to the so-called ‘self-identification crisis where it becomes inconceivable to be yourself, and you begin to ask: “Is it worth it ?” Everyone faces this crisis. From teachers to doctors, to entrepreneurs, to single parents. We all face this same crisis. Jake from The Entrepreneur Ride Along community discusses this exact topic and the stress entrepreneurs face in building a business and trying to ‘be yourself’ stating “entrepreneurs face a lot of stress in their day-to-day lives, most notably the ‘imposter syndrome’ that causes start-up founders to stray from their roots, lose their self-worth, pursue risky business opportunities, and ultimately cause the failure of their business venture.” Each of us must be ourselves.
Is it all necessary?
Philosophers and scientists reason what it means to “be ourselves” from the moment of the appearance of philosophy and science. However, seriously examining the problem of authenticity began only in the 30s of the last century. The psychologist Carl Rogers, the Creator of Customer-Centered Therapy, determines authenticity as the ability to create his own life, the desire to determine and satisfy their needs, and at the same time harmoniously coexist with others. He believed that emotional depression is the main symptom of a violation of internal harmony. Since then, little has changed. The ability to be yourself is still synonymous with a happy life and mental well-being.
Why can’t you always be yourself?
“Be yourself” – but how can we live our own lives and not lose ourselves. Everything else leads to the depletion of life resources, not giving out satisfaction from life instead. It is difficult for us to behave naturally for one main reason – fear of being rejected.
In different periods of life, we depend on different environments to achieve recognition.
Parents in childhood can positively reinforce some specific features or behavior and ignore/suppress their children’s spontaneity. The child feels like he/she is loved only for some reason. In adolescence – the desire to be accepted by peers, including by imitating the members.
Society imposes standards and forms the fear of being outside the mainstream if you show yourself as is – including weak, stupid, defenseless.
Why is it worth being yourself?
- The most important point is because it is easier. We always know that you think and feel. And instead of issuing the expected or approved answer, it is easier, to be honest.
- People feel when we pretend. Pretend to be someone else is taking away a lot of strength and eventually makes you a deceptive person. Natural behavior turns out to be a much more efficient way to achieve the desired result.
- Therefore, now there are all the possibilities. Authenticity becomes a universal trend not only in psychotherapy.
- Because you will find soulmates – who will accept you. The main misconception of a person is the fear that he is not interesting to other people. But let’s consider how many people you managed to meet in your lives, and how many you have never seen at least in your country.
Well, I want to be myself. What do I need to do?
Meet yourself, get to know yourself, and take yourself seriously. It starts with being honest with yourself, who you are actually. What are the values that you need to seek? You can join this path with a psychotherapist. When you explore yourself from head to toe, start learning to live with all of yourself.
Review your strengths, and more importantly, learn to use them.
Show your vulnerability. In our weakness, our power is paradoxically hidden. It is the combination of strengths and weaknesses that makes us who we are.
To be in the moment. To live your life here and now, pay attention to pleasant little things and do not focus on the experience and images of the future.
To say what you mean. If something bothers you – let yourself live in discomfort and politely speak the truth.
Cheer! Now that you understand who you are. Tell the world about this. Do not be afraid to seem strange, ridiculous, and unsuccessful. Come up with an honest description of the profile, tell us about your real interests and desires, risk letting out the person, that you are.