weeping woman

It’s hard for anyone to deal with a breakup. We can often feel like our world’s shattered, leaving us alone to pick up the pieces. Whether you’ve broken up from a short or long-term relationship there’s a period of grief you’ll need some time to recover from.

As much as it doesn’t help to say, the best remedy to heal emotional wounds is time. In time you will feel better and you will be able to overcome the hurt that you are feeling now. Time is the best way you can heal from a breakup, but it is not the only thing you can do.

After breaking up with someone you have a great opportunity to reevaluate what you want in life. It’s a chance for some personal reflection and making adjustments for moving forward in life.

Self-love and Care

One of the best things you can do after a breakup is invest some time and energy into self-improvement. You can use this as a chance to really get to know and love yourself.

This includes anything from exercising to eating healthier or even picking up a new hobby. The worst thing you can do after a breakup is nothing. By staying home and isolating yourself it’s easy to fall into depression. In order to avoid this, find some fulfilling activities that will help keep you busy.

Make Sure to Process in a Healthy Way

Too often when people process their pain and grief they do so in destructive and unhealthy ways. You will want to avoid doing this at all costs. By being destructive you will only cause yourself more pain in the long-term.

Finding healthy ways to deal with a breakup is the best way to make sure that you get through this and come out a better person for it. Some unhealthy ways of dealing with a breakup are turning to drugs or alcohol. You definitely do not way to lean on substances to feel better. Often times, they actually lead to addiction and end up making you feel worse.

You may want to consider finding a counselor or meeting with a trusted friend and venting it out. If verbal processing is not your thing, maybe consider writing regularly in a journal. Writing is incredibly therapeutic when it comes to resolving the feelings following a breakup.

If you are a creative type, you could use this time as a way to dive into your art. Sometimes the best art comes from pain. By channeling your hurt into something creative, whether it be music or painting, you are able to process your feelings and produce original art.

Many people swing to two different ends of the spectrum when it comes to a breakup. Either they stay home, locked away and start to become depressed or they throw themselves into work and do not give themselves time to think on it.

Avoid going towards either extreme. You need to give yourself a chance to process and be sad. Surprisingly, by not processing your grief you can actually become depressed. You do need to process your feelings, but you don’t want to dwell on them for too long.

Figure out Your Next Steps

Coming up with a plan after your breakup is a smart idea. You don’t want to be too strict with that plan but charting a direction to travel after your breakup is comforting.

Start by making a routine and sticking to it. If you work every week day then it helps to build a routine around that. You could consider getting up 30 minutes early and journaling while drinking some coffee or tea. During lunch try to eat with coworkers or go off and read a book. After work you can try meeting up with friends or go to an exercise class.

Remember not to overdo it though. Giving yourself time alone to think is good for you in the end, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.

Moving Forward

Give yourself some time to think about what you want out of life. Do you want to start considering other options for your life? Maybe your relationship was the reason you didn’t take that job in another state? It might be a good time to start considering where you want your life to be moving.

This does not mean making radical decisions, but it is a good time to consider your options. Maybe you are not happy in other areas of your life? Evaluate where you are but be slow and thoughtful before acting on anything.

Life is too short to be unhappy in a relationship or be unfulfilled in work. Start using your time to decide what you want and what gives you purpose in life. You will overcome the hardship of going through a breakup, and this is not the end.


  • Alexis Schaffer

    Expert Author

    Alexis Schaffer received her undergraduate degree in psychology and is a registered nurse. In her free time she teaches yoga and writes for various online publications. She's also the proud dog mom of a beagle named Dobby.